It has nothing to do with having issues with your own sexuality.  You have an opinion on this but it really is one of little basis since you don't know what it feels like to be a straight man any more than I understand what it feels like to be a gay man.

For the record I don't have an issue being around gay men.  My secretary is a gay man.  I have good friends that are gay man.  However, I don't enjoy gay actions or being hit on/touched by gay men.  I find man-man gay sex to be revolting.  It's nothing mean, or discriminatory, or anything else.  I just inherently find it gross.  The same instinct that makes me want to rub my face in boobs and lick a vagina makes me think body hair and penises are gross.  Just the way it is, and it's perfectly natural, as natural as your attraction to other men is.  And as I said I don't mind being around gay men, but I can appreciate another straight man not enjoying it and choosing to avoid it.  I was recently at a party where a gay friend wanted to put a flower in my hair.  I did not like this.  I wouldn't like it if a straight man wanted to do that either, but a straight man wouldn't want to.  I should also state that I wouldn't like it if a woman I found gross got touchy or forward either.  But I only find some women gross to be close to while I find all men gross to be close to.  I think it's important to appreciate that while being gay isn't "wrong", it also isn't "wrong" for a straight man to not enjoy gay behavior.  It's only wrong if you cause hurt or harm because of your feelings.

I think that you should talk with someone. A councelor, therapist...

But from my point of view things are usually as complicated as you make them. I was much happier when I realized that I'm living my life, for myself. Not for my mom, or my Catholic family. My friends however are really great about it, as is my brother. Hate crimes? Hate crimes happen all the time, not just towards LGBT people. There's no point living your life in fear simply because there are idiots in this world. Well, if you want to find a gay guy to date, you should either frequent places where gay people go, or use social apps targeted at gay people. There's like billion of them, and yes most of them are glorified hook-up apps, but believe me there are people looking for same things as you on those apps as well.

If you haven't realized by now you are normal. You just happen to be gay. I would love to be taller... But you can't change the cards you've been dealt to play this game called life. So deal with it. When you "accept" yourself for what you are, when you learn to love youself for who you are, and when you stop living your life in shame/fear... You'll be much happier and healthier person.

Sorry to hear about your family, if your friends were true friends tho they would accept for you who you are, if they don't than they're not worth having. I understand you not wanting to lose them and be isolated though. Where in the US are you? Sounds like the south!

You could use websites to find other guys??

If you wanna chat sometime (not just about this) feel free to PM me!

Depends on the circumstances, more than likely no reason would be good enough tho, and it just taints the relationship and sucks the trust out of it. It's very hard to come back from.

well, you are totally right. i ask because it happened to me. my boyfriend confessed that he cheated on me once. i decided to forgive him. but since then, we have a lot of trust issues. and its kinda akward, with the passing of time its getting a little bit better. but still.  i think it could never be the same thing.