Dude must be made of steel. The guilt alone would destroy me.

By the way, what is the threshhold? At what point does it become cheating?

More than likely the cut off point is a h**djob.

First off, let me say that you shouldn’t cheat, and ESPECIALLY concerning your wife. You made a commitment to your wife and you should remember that. Marriage is a totally different ball game, than being just in a relationship

Secondly, I understand where you’re coming from with regards your difficulty in being faithful. I myself went through a similar scenario just before I got married in 2009. I got really physical with a girl, but decided that needed to take my ass home, bite marks an all, and be sure to be fully clothed for a week or two. Anyways, the way I get around my desire to cheat is by convincing myself that my wife is the sexiest woman there is and that all other women don’t measure up – yep, I brainwashed myself! Sort of like I used Shino-Ipo on myself like Jin'eh in Rurouni Kenshin. Trust me it works, like any other form of brainwashing, whether it’s to ‘believe in yourself’ or ‘believing in religion’, brainwash yourself my friend into loving your wife and only her.

Thirdly, you mentioned don’t bring too much religion into this, which I assume means we can bring just a bit  Anyways, marriage is not something man-made, for which man in his right mind would think that he can survive just having one woman, FOR LIFE? Marriage is built on Godly principles my friend, and I submit to you that, ultimately, the best way to stop yourself from cheating is to understand God’s rules, not man’s, on marriage.

So if you talk dirty, get sent pics and videos, ask for more, enjoy the rush of what COULD happen, but ultimately not act on it and it never gets to any real physical interaction you're in the clear?

It's not the biology, it's the ego. Every man wants to know if they've still got it, and if they can seduce every possible target. If it were biology, you wouldn't mind having sex with your wife over and over again to fulfill your sexual needs. And the way I see it, you can choose to feed your ego, but you'll be losing much much more in return.

And I've never cheated before. It helps that I don't drink tbh.

btw.. that member who is a cheater and is stoned to dead for it on this site is still bugrimmar  right?

Well I watched this documentary called Mad Men where everybody cheated and they all turned out ok so I guess it's ok :)

Here's my thoughts on cheating...

If you're actually thinking about cheater or are a cheater, there is something missing in your life and you haven't really matured as a person. This of course is my own opinion, and if you really believe cheating is fine, then that is who you are. I have a different opinion.

When you're thinking about cheating there is fundamentally something missing from your life that you are trying to achieve by cheating. There are various types of cheaters, i.e. cheating for excitement, cheating for the chase, cheating because you're lonely. Each type aims to achieve a certain feeling or experience that they're currently missing.

If you truly believe cheating is wrong then there are two things you can do:

(1) The first step is to start understanding yourself. This is called self-awareness. Find out what you value. This is not a simple task. Once you find out your values, you'll actually have a more fulfilling life which may be enough to dissuade any thoughts on cheating.

(2) You may find out that you are missing something, and it's something you cannot get from your spouse. In this case the goal is to identify what this is, define it and to achieve it in a non-harmful way. An analogy is recovering addicts. Unfortunately being an addict seems to be more genetic and once an addict you'll always be an addict. The secret is identifying that you're an addict and changing your habits to place your addictive tenancies in a non-harmful activity.

I hope this helps.

The one and only. Didn't want to mention him and prolong the stonning, but since you mentioned him...

And thanks everyone for your replys so far.