I'm going to go on Twitter later on today and post things no woman wants to hear right before they get intimate.   I've come up with a few but I'd like to get a little help from the community.  So far, I've got:

• "Is it supposed to smell like that?"
• "You know, people almost never die from AIDS nowadays"
• "You kiss much better than your brother"
• "I have no idea where I'm going to hide your body"

I'm hoping it becomes a trending topic.  Anything you creative guys can come up with?

#BeforeSexYouShouldntSay is going to be the name of the topic unless I think of something catchier.

I gotta take a shit but when I get back we can do it.

I think I might have just sharted myself.

I'm burning, I'm burning for you.

I have whiskey dick.

Sorry, that is as big as it gets.

This used to get my ex really wet.

Put this bag over your head.

Do you mind if I tape this picture of my ex to your back while we do it doggystyle?

I know a great place where you can get checked after we are done.

Don't mind that rash.  I am pretty sure it is only jock itch.

and my personal favorite

The rippin and the tearing

Consider it stolen, seth!

"I've never done this with a real person before"

"OH DEAR GOD NO!"

"So which star trek character do you want to be?"

Hahahhaha I will retweet you :)

PS: "Hmm what does that do?"

"Sorry, I'm used to doing it with lassie. Just don't bite like she does."

"Hey, would you put this costume on?"

"Do you accept personal checks?"

"Whoops, one second... forgot to set up the webcam."

"This is gonna be the best 30 seconds of your life!"

"I seem to be having a little trouble maintaining an erection. Can you wear this bag over your head?"

"It's good to know I didn't spend $100 on GHB for nothing"

Telling your woman that she kisses better than her brother... that's one of the weirder ones.

I'll try to think of some to add here. The best ones I can think of are things you don't want to do/say DURING sex. Hey, that could be your next topic!