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http://www.challies.com/quotes/i-looked-for-love-in-your-eyes
“I Looked For Love in Your Eyes.”
I saved my best for you. Other girls may have given themselves away, But I believed in the dream. A husband, a wife, united as one forever.
Nervous, first time, needing assurance of your love, I looked for it in your eyes Mere inches from mine. But what I saw made my soul run and hide.
Gone was the tenderness I’d come to know I saw a stranger, cold and hard Distant, evil, revolting. I looked for love in your eyes And my soul wept.
Who am I that you cannot make love to me? Why do I feel as if I’m not even here? I don’t matter. I’m a prop in a filthy play. Not an object of tender devotion.
Where are you?
Years pass But the hardness in your eyes does not. You think I’m cold But how can I warm to eyes that are making hate to someone else Instead of making love to me?
I know where you are. I’ve seen the pictures. I know now what it takes to turn you on. Women…people like me Tortured, humiliated, hated, used Discarded. Images burned into your brain. How could you think they would not show in your eyes?
Did you ever imagine, The first time you picked up a dirty picture That you were dooming all intimacy between us Shipwrecking your marriage Breaking the heart of a wife you wouldn’t meet for many years?
If it stopped here, I could bear it. But you brought the evil into our home And our little boys found it. Six and eight years old. I heard them laughing, I found them ogling.
Hands bound, mouth gagged. Fisheye photo, contorting reality Distorting the woman into exaggerated breasts. The haunted eyes, windows of a tormented soul Warped by the lens into the background, Because souls don’t matter, only bodies do To men who consume them.
Little boys My little boys Laughing and ogling the sexual torture Of a woman, a woman like me. Someone like me.
An image burned into their brains.
Will their wives’ souls have to run and hide like mine does? When does it end?
I can tell you this. It has not ended in your soul. It has eaten you up. It is cancer. Do you think you can feed on a diet of hatred And come out of your locked room to love?
You say the words, but love has no meaning in your mouth When hatred rules in your heart. Your cruelty has eaten up every vestige of the man I thought I was marrying. Did you ever dream it would so consume you That your wife and children would live in fear of your rage?
That is what you have become Feeding your soul on poison.
I’ve never used porn. But it has devastated my marriage, my family, my world.
Was it worth it?
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