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Forums - General Discussion - What's the best way to break up with someone because they're fat?

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I'm a relatively attractive, athletic guy.  I think I have a decent personality, a good job, my own place, etc.  Anyway, my last relationship came to an end and I found myself dating a fat chick via online dating.  I didn't know she was fat at first, mind you.  She used all kinds of camera trickery or something.  She was always behind other people when she sent full body shots, laying down, or whatever.  When we finally met, I was trying my best not to be shallow and, to my surprise, wound up having a really good time with her!  She's got a great personality, a great job, and a lot going for herself, as wll.  She's not orca fat but there are times when I look at her and I just don't like what i see.  I'm afraid of what would happen if my frieds see me with her.  I have sex with the lights off and often from behind because she just doesn't look like I wish she would.  In the end, I guess I'm a shallow guy because her physical appearance is keeping me from wanting to pursue this anymore.  She's really nice, thoughtful, and sweet so I don't want to say, "Don't touch me, you fat, fat, fatty!"


Any advice?

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Dont break up with her, when she inevitably loses weight and you see her around your going to be burning with jelousy, what to do is replace every song in her phone with the rocky soundtrack, and buy her a one year gym membership for "the both of ya" but make excuses and make sure she goes alone.

She's got the right personality for ya, the fat can be lost...she'll need your support and few tricks first though, dont just give her a gym membership and say "lose weight or im going". Blend it ;)

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Don't worry. There are plenty of other whales in the sea.

If you make efforts to stay in shape, it's perfectly normal to expect someone with the same body type as you. You should not be ashamed for expecting or wanting someone in good shape.

You should just tell her that you need someone as sporty as you are, who does sports regularly and pays attention to what she eats. And really, having sex with her when you aren't attracted? You know, leading people on is worse than telling them the truth. I'm pretty sure it'll hurt her less to break up with her now than to stay with her, make her get attached to you before you finally can't take it anymore and break up.

She's not going to lose weight. She loves cooking, talking about food, and eating too much. I tell her about how I work out almost daily. She says she'll do it with me and she says all the time that "She needs to lose weight". She knows she's fat. I don't want to add to that psychological complex but I don't want to stay in a relationship that's going nowhere, either.

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Try to play it off like you want her to join and help you get healthy, or that you want to get healthy together. That way you don't hurt her feelings and its possible that she can get the body you want.

You shouldn´t have gone ahead with dating her when you met her, but now, I´d say the best course of action is to be honest.It won´t be pretty but it´ll be better for both of you the sooner you tell her.

When you say "fat" how fat is that. Do you know her actual weight?

JGarret said:
You shouldn´t have gone ahead with dating her when you met her, but now, I´d say the best course of action is to be honest.It won´t be pretty but it´ll be better for both of you the sooner you tell her.

That's the downside to online dating.  You meet somebody and judge them by the info they put in their profile.  Then, you send messages and phone numbers and, by the time you actually meet, it seems like you're already in a relationship.  I knew she had a great personality and we had chemistry but the first meeting was like, "Uh, oh..."  There's a lot of things I shouldn't have done (oh, the things I shouldn't have done...) but at this point, what's happened has happened.  I can't change what I did.  I just don't know what to do.

Just don't call her back. Then when she asks, say you're not interested in a serious relationship.

I describe myself as a little dose of toxic masculinity.