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Forums - General Discussion - I beat up my step dad. Was I wrong in doing so? (Long read)

You're dead wrong. From what you described it just sounds like you hold huge resentment for him. Also, you seem to think he should bend over backwards for you. You don't get mad at your mom for stopping with the driving lessons, but when he tries to help you out you nit pick over the smallest details to start an argument. He's the one helping you out, not the other way around. It's not his fault you can't wake up early, or that he needed to sell his truck for what ever reason. On top of that when someone doesn't want to let you drive their car cause it has problems and you're a beginner driver they're looking out for your best interest but instead you just see what you want. You'll probably read this and think I'm harassing you as I'm not saying what you want to hear, but from what I read you just seem to push his buttons on purpose while he tries to make the best of the situation with you.

Oh and one more thing, after you start a fight that he doesn't take part in because he probably didn't want to hand you your ass, you complain to the police when he's finally had enough and does something about it? You need to move out and give your mom and step dad some peace.



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Horrorfest said:
AnthonyW86 said:
Hewas harrassing you will he was sitting in his chair and you where walking away?.... I think you need to look up what harrassing means.


What are you talking about? I walked away and told him I respected my mother too much but he wouldnt stop harassing me. He continued going on and on. 

What i mean is you where already walking away and could have ignored the rest of what he said, instead you walked back and punched him. Now if he hade stood up from his chair and blocked your path or even grabbing and holding you then that would have been a different situation in my opinion.

The thing from your story that stood out to me the most was that after almost every single thing he did or said that annoyed you where ''ready to beat his ass''. From you're story i understand that you hade a rough puberty, are you sure you're not struggling with any angre issues?

It might seem like i'm trying to put the blame in your shoes but i'm not. It's clear that you're step dad's words aren't worth a damn nor are his promises, so just try to remind yourself off that when he starts bitching about things. His opinion isn't worth getting wound up over and definitely not risking getting into much bigger trouble because of assault.



frankly, i would have just suggested you provoke him to hit you and then phone the police and have him arrested for domestic violence



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Horrorfest said:
pezus said:
This may have been the most detailed description I've seen here in a while.

Just out of curiosity, how old are you and your step dad?


He's maybe 52 and I'm 20. I had enough with his harassment towards me. I wanted to give him what he had coming but I tried walking away. I tried ignoring him but he wouldnt leave me alone.


I don't think you were wrong, but 20 years is a bit old to be living with your mom and her man. In families like that they will most likely be issues similar to what you posted. He wants to be man of the house and you want to have total freedom in that house.

tight spot to be in but like some people will tell you, get the hell outta that house and get your own place problem solved.

I know some many friends with step dads and 8 out of 10 of them have bad relationships with their step dads, everything was fine and dandy until the boys become teens and start pressing authority in a household that the step dad contributes his entire paycheck into.



loy310 said:
Horrorfest said:
pezus said:
This may have been the most detailed description I've seen here in a while.

Just out of curiosity, how old are you and your step dad?


He's maybe 52 and I'm 20. I had enough with his harassment towards me. I wanted to give him what he had coming but I tried walking away. I tried ignoring him but he wouldnt leave me alone.


I don't think you were wrong, but 20 years is a bit old to be living with your mom and her man. In families like that they will most likely be issues similar to what you posted. He wants to be man of the house and you want to have total freedom in that house.

tight spot to be in but like some people will tell you, get the hell outta that house and get your own place problem solved.

I know some many friends with step dads and 8 out of 10 of them have bad relationships with their step dads, everything was fine and dandy until the boys become teens and start pressing authority in a household that the step dad contributes his entire paycheck into.


No its not. Especially nowadays with being harder to find a job and rent getting higher . I live in San Diego and uness you rich or you have a above average paying job, expect to have roommates for your first venture into moving out. I cant find the piece of news but a few years ago a report stated that in America the average age in which kids leave home has increased to 26.5.



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I echo the sentiments of euphoria and hesApooka.

I can't get over the fact you get mad he sells his own car and that you can't drive a car having issues. Before my cars engine went it was making terrible clunking noises. I knew I didn't have the money to fix it before it really broke and I knew it would cost a lot after it really broke. I refused to drive it unless it was necessary. It eventually broke and I had to get rid of it because I wasn't spending 5-6k on rebuilding the engine. My wife kept driving on a car with brakes that were grinding and instead of a quick fix it cost $300. And we live in a city and she has a bus pass for being a student. Driving wasn't necessary but she wanted to be lazy. I kept telling her to stop driving it.

Point is you don't drive on cars having issues EVER. Even issues that aren't a big deal at first can become a huge waste of money.

I'm assuming you don't work either because you can't even drive. If this is true and you live for free then I'd expect you to work around the house too. I lived with my mom for 26 years but I worked at 18 and paid my own bills/food. I went back to school at 24 and paid for that too. You are lucky if they don't force you to start paying rent.



Hey man as long as it wasn't your mother or any other female and you believe it was justified then I say you are in the clear. I'd avoid physical confrontation, but they are unavoidable in some cases, and I don't fault you for what you did. I've been in similar situations, and without much eloboration, I've found take recorders (or MP3 players with the feature) to be very convenient when it comes to the police.



 

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First of all, learn to be more concise. That could have been cut down to one fifth of its size.

Now, yes you were wrong, very wrong. First of all, you need to know you aren't entitled to anything especially at 20 years old. He doesn't have to help you get a job or teach you how to drive. He doesn't have to do shit for you. And even if he said he would do it, sure it would be annoying, but that's no reason to held a grudge for it. If he wants to sell his car, he can sell his car if he wants to. He has no obligation to you. You wanna make some money, find your own job.

And you say he couldn't give you lessons because of your irregular sleep schedule? Really? Wake the fuck up! It's your own damn fault you didn't the lessons. You had the oppurtunity and you didn't take it. And now you want to get upset when he doesn't cater to every need? Seriously? He cooks for you, does yard work, and brings in income. What more do you want from him? He has given you MUCH more than what he has to. You should be very greatful.

Question: How much do you help around the house.

Also, you have anger issues. Seek help immediately. You beat up an old guy on disability and then you taunt him afterwards? You think that's cool or acceptable?You should have been arrested. Hopefully that would have taught you some self control. You say you did it because...wait for it...he "harassed" you? "oh...I tried to walk away..but he kept picking on me, so I had to hit him." You sound like a toddler - an out of control toddler. You need to cut that mentality if you ever want to get anywhere in life.

So yes, you were wrong and need help and/or imprisonment. 

 



Pretty dissappointed that i read that entire post and there wasn't anything about sexual harassement.. That said: yes life sometimes sucks and it takes the better man to do something about it.. Look in the mirror and ask yourself: are you that man?



 

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Xxain said:
loy310 said:
Horrorfest said:
pezus said:
This may have been the most detailed description I've seen here in a while.

Just out of curiosity, how old are you and your step dad?


He's maybe 52 and I'm 20. I had enough with his harassment towards me. I wanted to give him what he had coming but I tried walking away. I tried ignoring him but he wouldnt leave me alone.


I don't think you were wrong, but 20 years is a bit old to be living with your mom and her man. In families like that they will most likely be issues similar to what you posted. He wants to be man of the house and you want to have total freedom in that house.

tight spot to be in but like some people will tell you, get the hell outta that house and get your own place problem solved.

I know some many friends with step dads and 8 out of 10 of them have bad relationships with their step dads, everything was fine and dandy until the boys become teens and start pressing authority in a household that the step dad contributes his entire paycheck into.


No its not. Especially nowadays with being harder to find a job and rent getting higher . I live in San Diego and uness you rich or you have a above average paying job, expect to have roommates for your first venture into moving out. I cant find the piece of news but a few years ago a report stated that in America the average age in which kids leave home has increased to 26.5.

Its definatly too old to be dependant on the parents. I lived with my mom for 26years but I worked when I was 18 (had odd jobs over summers since 15 though). I didn't pay rent but I did pay my own food, cell phone, gas, car insurance, school, ect ect. I did look into moving out. I crunched numbers when I was 21 and working $11p/h and 50 hours a week and I realized there is absolutley no way I pay rent on my own plus utilites on top of everything I already listed above. Cheapest place is $600 a month in a huge apartment complex that smells like cat piss while walking through the halls.  $11p/h is $3 more than min wage and 50 hours a week is over fulltime. Also, since I never rented on my own before I would need a cosigner which I wouldn't be able to get.

So I agree it isn't too old to live with them but it is too old to expect them to drive you places because you don't have a license yet.