HintHRO said: I will share some videos from Real Social Dynamics, but after that you're on your own. I'm showing you the door that changed my life, but you have to open it. RSD is an organisation that teaches men seduction and personal development. Go outside during daytime and tell a girl she looks lovely and have a conversation with her. Look for local RSD/seduction groups near your location to meet guys who want to help you. You will gain confidence, an exciting sex life and find new friends.  RSD Max is my favorite coach. Be sure to look videos of other coaches who might suit you better. Good luck.

Uh thanks but I'm not asking for help here. I know I'm a lost cause, too far gone, unfixable. Afterall not everyone can be helped, that's just reality.

Lonely_Dolphin said: HintHRO said: I will share some videos from Real Social Dynamics, but after that you're on your own. I'm showing you the door that changed my life, but you have to open it. RSD is an organisation that teaches men seduction and personal development. Go outside during daytime and tell a girl she looks lovely and have a conversation with her. Look for local RSD/seduction groups near your location to meet guys who want to help you. You will gain confidence, an exciting sex life and find new friends.  RSD Max is my favorite coach. Be sure to look videos of other coaches who might suit you better. Good luck. Uh thanks but I'm not asking for help here. I know I'm a lost cause, too far gone, unfixable. Afterall not everyone can be helped, that's just reality.

Ok. Have fun with your miserable life and victim mentality.

Jesus Christ

Why are most people at conventions or gaming expos not familair with shampoos or have never seen a shower from inside?

HintHRO said: Ok. Have fun with your miserable life and victim mentality. Jesus Christ

I wouldn't recommend trying to help people (assuming you genuinely want to) with that attitude, as even if your advice is good they probably wont want to listen to yah. Just a tip for the future!

 

Kyuu said: What victim mentality? If anything, he gives himself far too little credit and takes full responsibility for things he isn't entirely responsible for. Isn't this the polar-opposite of victim mentality? @Ensiam_Dolphin (probably a terrible attempt to recall your old username) Try to find yourself a new hobby! Like maybe learning to play a musical instrument, aka world's greatest hobby :) I especially enjoy playing Touhou on a synth. Currently learning this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0PDKhGGTJo I love this as much as my 17 month old niece seems to! By the way you said you preferred Orcas over Porpoises.. even though Orcas (killer whales) are notorious dolphin eaters! Apologize to the poor dolphins right now, you!!

Well like I've said, I'm not interested or good at anything else. I used to have other hobbies such as the aforementioned Yu-Gi-OH and also doing various things outdoors and hanging out with friends at arcades, movies, laser tag, etc., but none of these are possible now. Good you found other things to enjoy, that song is indeed pretty sweet!

Ah woops! Eh, still gonna stand by what I said.

 

Pagan said: Why are most people at conventions or gaming expos not familair with shampoos or have never seen a shower from inside?

Probably cause their lazy. I'm lazy as well but I atleast always make sure to shower before going to such things.

Kyuu said: HintHRO said: Ok. Have fun with your miserable life and victim mentality. Jesus Christ What victim mentality? If anything, he gives himself far too little credit and takes full responsibility for things he isn't entirely responsible for. Isn't this the polar-opposite of victim mentality?

''I'm too far gone. It's too late for me. For some people it's already too late, that's reality.''

If that isn't victim mentality, I don't know what is. It's like he is justifying his miserable situation and there's no turnaround possible. Look at his response when I suggested speeddating: ''Like I'd have the confidence for that''. That is the exact definition of victim mentality, because he assumes confidence is something you get at birth, not by taking action and experience. I never kissed/fucked a girl before my 26th birthday. I suffered depression two times combined with anxiety disorder. My parents fought in front of me. Now I have the best friends, I date multiple girls, finished a bachelor degree in medical sciences. There's always a turnaround possible. Fucking always. Even when you yourself are to blame for the situation.

But it's not up to me to change his life. So I'll leave it at this. 

Last edited by HintHRO - on 20 August 2018

HintHRO said: ''I'm too far gone. It's too late for me. For some people it's already too late, that's reality.'' If that isn't victim mentality, I don't know what is. It's like he is justifying his miserable situation and there's no turnaround possible. Look at his response when I suggested speeddating: ''Like I'd have the confidence for that''. That is the exact definition of victim mentality, because he assumes confidence is something you get at birth, not by taking action and experience. I never kissed/fucked a girl before my 26th birthday. I suffered depression two times combined with anxiety disorder. My parents fought in front of me. Now I have the best friends, I date multiple girls, finished a bachelor degree in medical sciences. There's always a turnaround possible. Fucking always. Even when you yourself are to blame for the situation. But it's not up to me to change his life. So I'll leave it at this.

You can believe I have victim mentality for whatever that's worth, but just because you solved your problem doesn't mean everyone can solve theirs, that there's always a solution. Also I don't assume you get confidence at birth, but whatevs. Thanks for taking the time to rub in how much better off you are I guess. :L

mZuzek said: Dude.

What?

mZuzek said: Lonely_Dolphin said: What? You're literally buying into HRO's point about victim mentality and stuff. I don't know how being depressed is like, so I don't wanna sound rude or insensitive, but for you to write off everything he said as "rubbing in your face how much better he is" is just ridiculous. He was just showing how he himself got out of a depressing situation, and how anyone can, including you, of course. Stop telling yourself you can't do this, or don't have the confidence to do that, because the only thing that makes you a loser is the fact that you think of yourself as such.

You can call it victim mentality but I've always been a logic and reason based person, my circumstances will never change that. What makes me a loser is not what anyone thinks but simply that I fit the definition as one who fails and doesn't succeed. It's cold, it's harsh, but it's the truth. Even if I manage to better my situation, my viewpoint would remain the same that not everyone has equal ability and opportunity to better their life as there's just too many people in the world for this not to be true. I'm fully aware that the issues I think I can't get through are nothing compared to what other people have to deal with.

Have you ever considered that you might be better off alone? If you keep failing then perhaps you'd be happier if you readjusted what you want in life. In time you might realise that you were chasing the wrong thing all along.

I say this because for years and years, I was focused on my problems, on why I was lonely, why I couldn't meet people, why I could never seem to do anything but fail. I used to get desperate and do stupid things to either try to change my situation or to try making myself feel better, i.e. finding whoever would tolerate me and drinking my money away. I was very sure I desired friends and a partner. But I eventually decided to try taking advice seriously, I started to make changes, to make friends, I went speed dating, got a girlfriend, broke up, tried again and did it again. All of this was really hard for me but I tried because it really seemed important to the future of my life. This opened my eyes to what was really wrong. I was chasing what I thought was going to be happiness but, guess what, it was shit. I fucking hated it, drained the life out of me. For years I thought I was unhappy because I was lonely or some bad shit happened in my past or that I just wasn't cut out for achieving what I wanted. Boy was I wrong, I had completely the wrong goals, I realised that I am totally better off alone, I'm happier that way. I don't have any friends, I suppose there is my brother that I see once a week so there is a total of 1 person I have regular contact with outside of work. But I'm not unhappy, I'm not bitter or hateful, I'm happy and content. I don't dislike the rest of my family, I care for them quite a bit, but things between us work better if we have some distance and only meet on occasion. I'll probably never settle down with a partner either and honestly I'm really happy with that, I never could stand being close to someone for very long. It's comforting and reassuring to feel like I only have to contend with myself for the rest of my life lol, makes planning for the future much easier.

Things really got better for me when I realised that I was fixated on the wrong things all along, I now have more confidence, I'm happier and I worry a lot less. In fact even though I just said I'm alone most of the time, I never, ever, feel lonely. I used to, it really used to be something I felt regularly but now I haven't felt that way for years. Of course, I still have problems, health and money being two of them but at least I feel good about myself and my general life. I have time to do what I want, to focus on my interests. It's funny because back then I was worried about finding people to be friends with, doing everything wrong and pushing people away unintentionally but now I find that because I'm more relaxed and better at getting on casually with people that I've had to actually avoid well meaning offers of friendship from decent people because I've realised that is a true path to misery for me. Solitude used to be stressful and painful for me but now I know better and it is bliss. Friends and close relationships aren't for everyone, with the vast number of people out there there have to be a number who just shouldn't view them as desirable. It's just my opinion but I tend to think that people who consistently fail are usually trying the wrong things and that can be the case for us friendless folk too. I had fooled myself into misery and made my life harder, it still amazes me how I did that.

Now there's a good chance you're not exactly like me, but I do wonder if what you want isn't actually right for you. Whatever it is, you seem to be defeating yourself and refusing to change, that is pretty pathetic and since I used to do it all the time I can confirm that it'll get you nowhere.

Lonely_Dolphin said: OhNoYouDont said: There are some dogs that require almost no exercise and will just bum around with you on the couch too. I wasn't sure what type of person you were though. Well, I think rescuing a dog from being incinerated is a good enough reason to get one even if your reasons are entirely selfish otherwise. But I understand that it's additional responsibility and dogs certainly aren't for everybody. I'm pretty Laissez-faire / blasé when it comes to getting friend's phone numbers. Almost all of my numbers have come from group texts or the friend asking me for my number first. I do not know if this speaks to you, but if you're running low on people to hang out with that may be a reason why. I'm very independent and introverted so I do not require much social interaction but when people do ask me to hangout I usually acquiesce because I don't want to be left out. As to your last point, I would suggest you reflect on that a bit more. Your reasons to exist should not be reliant upon the existence of others. Could those people enhance your life? Sure, but they should not be considered as reasons for living. Dunno anything about incinerating dogs lel, but the way I see it is the dog I would have gotten now has a chance of being taken in by better people. That would fall under not reaching out so yeah. It'd certainly be easier if people reached out to me, but of course that's not how it works. How does one come to not desire social interaction? I sure wish that could be the case for me. You should have some reason to live, otherwise why bother? The reasons can be anything of course, but I bet for most people friends and familiy are among them.

Not all of the animals that reside in shelters go to nice families. There are no-kill shelters, and that's great but not all of them are that way due to funding / overpopulation, etc. If you rescue a dog from a shelter, you prevent the shelter from having to euthanize it. So even if you're a shitty owner, at least it had an opportunity to live.

It's easy to fall out of contact with people but trust me if you reach out to an old friend, they'll be smiling for days. It's one of the best things that can happen, especially if they also felt bad about not contacting you in a while. It's super easy for life to interfere with friendships, you really do have to put forth effort to keep them going strong.

Yeah I don't know man, it's definitely strange not to need social interaction. I generally get all I need from coworkers at work on the 3-4 days I actually go into the office. The only times I find myself reaching out are holidays because I feel as though those ought be spent with others. Still, as great as it is I have to work pretty hard to maintain friendships due to it being far easier to stay in and reject invitations. It's not that I don't enjoy socializing with friends, it's just exhausting and I can find enjoyment in alone time as well.

I would say that if anybody's sole reason for continuing to live is contingent upon another human that their mental state is poor. As I said, having people in your life that provide enjoyment can enhance your life but should not be the reason for living. Be a reason for living, sure I understand that fully, but not the only reason.