So my girlfriend bought me a cell phone for Christmas, back in 2005. It wasn't much but it got the job done. By the end of 2006, I'd had it. She was accusing me of "using the phone that I spent my hard earned money to buy!" to call other women. In reality, I actually wasn't. The last straw was when she accused my cousin of being the other woman. She called from a bad area and the call got disconnected. "Why did you have to hang up when I came into the room? I'm so tired of you cheating on me!", she said. And with that, I broke the phone in half and said "fuck it".
I later bought my own cell phone and used it to call other women.
Fast forward to 2010. I'd reformed from my cheating ways. I no longer even have the desire to mess around anymore (One year anniversary of monogamy was June 29!). Basically, I go to work and I come home. There isn't a moment of my day where I can't be accounted for. So my girlfriend comes home from work. "Tim, I'm so tired of this. You must take me for a fool. We're going to look at your phone bill." And so we do. We log into Verizonwireless.com and we go through months and months of phone calls. The whole time, she's jotting down phone numbers and getting madder and madder. I'm getting mad, too. What right does she have? Then she starts calling the numbers.
- "Hello? Oh, hey Crystal (my sister). You got a new number? I just wanted to call and see how you're doing."
- "Hello? Oh, this is Tim's job? I must have dialed the wrong number!"
- "Hello? *hangs up* Some guy answered the phone."
And I sit there watching while she makes an ass of herself. But I'm pissed. I go to work the next morning and when she calls me, I refuse to answer. I probably got 20 phone calls (maybe more) from her that day. Voice messages and texts that I refused to even look at, too. So when I get home, she confronts me. "Why didn't you answer your phone?", she asks. "Because I'm mad at you.", I answer. "Oh really? Well I bet if I check your phone, you talked to somebody....."
*SNAP*
"You know what? Fuck it.", I say, as I break my second phone in half.
So I go a couple of months without any phone at all. I don't even miss it. But the whole time, I'm hearing "Oh, the reason you don't have a phone is so you can sneak off and do your little dirty deeds without me being able to bother you." or "Oh, you think you're smart. You don't have a phone because you don't want me calling you, huh?" Eventually, she convinces me to get another cell phone. Her argument: "There's too much going on in the world today and there are already people that don't like you (from my cop days). You NEED a cell phone. What if your car breaks down or somebody tries to get you?"
So I grab a new phone about two weeks ago. And since then, it's been pretty cool. I'm loving my Droid 2. And when I come home from work, yesterday, the first thing I hear is "Ever since you got your new phone, you've been acting different. I KNOW something is going on........"
!?!
Is there a way to have a phone without having a phone? She'd better be glad the sex is still good, that's all I'm saying. So my new phone is condemned to a terrible fate. And so, the saga continues...........
