Michael-5 said:
Marucha said:
Yay. I didn't know if it was out of snark or not. So I apologize to sales if that was not the intention.. but I like to sorta step up and say 'hey' if it's just somebody venting here...it doesn't seem really fair if the intent isn't right to knock on them. I gave it the benefit of the doubt after he said it was misunderstanding.
To me, cheating in a relationship is a sign of deeper problem... maybe deep down you wonder if this relationship will go anywhere and your doubt creates lack of faith, letting guard down, etc...my thing isn't cheating, but usually I pick up really quick if a relationship is not long-term, I tend to sabotage it one way or another... oh do I ever... it usually happens for me after about 6 months. I was with my husband for almost 8 years before we finally tied the knot, living together for almost that... but I wanted to be really sure about what we both wanted before we took that permanent step. People change a lot in their 20's.
I don't condone cheating, but it's not my place to judge and everyone has their reasons,circumstances,etc. I figured you were just venting anyway.
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Okay, I have a question which you might be able to help me with.
What made you realize you wanted to marry your husband?
I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 years, and we have no plans to ge engaged until she is done her PhD at least. We don't really talk about it, but we both have a mutual understanding that school has to finish first. I like 9/10 things about her, and many of the leftover 10% reasons I don't like her will probably get fixed when she moves out (she still lives with her parents at 24). However how do you know when THAT person is THE person you want to spend life with?
This has been bugging me lately because I've been making a few female friends who have been straight up with me and told me that they would be interested in me if I were single, and I'm not 100% sure if I'm satisfied with my gf. I never really had a serious relationship with anyone else, and I know it's normal to have some doubt, but listening to the reasons why you finally decided to get married might help me out.
I'm not sure if I'm okay with living with some of the things about my gf which bug me, but there are so few of them, I also don't think any other girl will complete me more then her.
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Wall of text incoming... couldn't avoid it.
Could you make this question even more harder? lol I think you have to figure that out on your own and make a decision. If you feel pressured to do so 'just because' and not out of want, then maybe for you... or maybe you just can't see that down the path for her and you yet?... not saying that is the case. I think doubt is normal like you said. Especially if you are overthinking it.
With my husband, I've had previous relationships... so I know what I don't like and what direction I don't want to go... but also figured out the direction I do want to go. I've dated some losers, but I've dated some decent folk too that give me faith in the manrace, so I know a good one when I see one. My husband is someone I see going very far with and who I want by my side in this life's journey... he would not hold me back from my dreams and I would not do the same to him. We have abundant respect for each other. We're also both gamers and dorks, so he and I both understand when either of us want to be a basement troll for a few hours to finish a game. He has hobbies too, so he's not overly dependent on me to entertain him. I'm very independent, so he understands my need for space and the bonus is he's doesn't have to play white knight with me when stuff gets hard...
We are both also very hardworkers, and we've done the whole living paycheck to paycheck thing and I'm very easy-going about living with what we have... so money is not a deal breaker for either of us. Though you'd be surprised the little things that can hurt a relationship when you're living together.... the first year and second year is always the hardest, you discover all those little things that annoy you about each other and you must argue to some of it... like my husband, leaving his clothes on the floor in the living room including his underwear!......... but at least the sex is a lot more convenient. That's a big plus. And you can videogame together anytime of the night. I can game, he watches, and we bullshit about it. I like to be alone in my space sometimes, but I'm OK with him knowing my business. Most people, I'm like, stay out of my business! lol... so that's a big deal to me, living with someone. If they get on my nerves, I won't be able to tolerate them 24/7 lol...
We're both passionate about very similar things... Like it's not like a boring lifestyle with him. We love to have fun. We laugh all the time. It's not boring at all. I can't stand a person who can't keep up. So I like that if I say, hey let's go bullshit here... we just go bullshit there... without any reason. We go places to just be together and be out and about... it doesn't matter what it is specifically, but we enjoy eachothers company. He has interests and I try to keep up with it. He benefits from mine a lot. For example, I'm an artist, so sometimes I will paint him 'personalized' booby drawings sometimes. He likes to brag that I do that sorta stuff for him... I like to make 'my people' (people I am close to) happy so. I love spoiling my family (pets included) so...
We've also seen each other's worst sides.. I always like to explain it as... a true person is something like a pie... you take all their faults, shape, cut away at that pie and the shape you get is the true person, the true form of what something is... never them at their ideal...... that's the biggest mistake I think most people can make, is marrying someone for their ideals... I love my husband, even in his worst side. He is a pain in the ass sometimes and I know I get cranky and difficult when I'm hurting from health problems and I can be overly blunt when I point things out in detail lol... But we love each other still irregardless. We laugh at ourselves and it helps reduce our stress. I laugh at every chance I get. I don't see the point to life if you don't have fun sometimes, go out, or don't make jokes....
So yeah.... reading all that reminds me of why I am married. I don't know if it will help you LOL. Some of it seems like random meaningless information for you... because I think that really is something you can decide. I don't know who the else could fill the shoes my husband fills. I mean, life would be bullshit without him...... I am not dependent on people and I don't need them to fill a place, so that's why when I mentioned I used to tend to sabotage relationships... that's why... sometimes people just become inconvenient for me and ultimately for them,... I mean if they don't know how to have fun with me without me motivating them or telling them... it just got boring and I knew longterm that it would only get worse and I accepted those facts easily so..... like I had a boyfriend that would get jealous when I played a game... and think I was about to break up with him. He was so fixated on that, even though he was a good guy at heart, he couldn't get past it so it just stopped being a good fit for me...
Anyway, all that stuff is tailored to me. Use your own judgement!
