Alright. Fair enough.

Make friends with someone who got an 800 on the verbal part of the SAT, plays video games and has a knack for creative writing?

Well, I'll try to find one. Thanks.

Even if it's a joke, there's no need for that.

Ugh, I know you want actual reasons but, meh, it's just not good and I agree with the people that said they want their six minutes back. People have been giving you constructive criticism for at least a month now and it's still just not good in any way at all. You're arguments don't make a lot of sense and you just come off as a really lame copy of the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Have you ever considered maybe you're just not cut out to be a reviewer/internet personality?

I did not watch the video, but I did love Kirby 64.

Not so much for the game itself though but for that freakishly addictive falling block mini-game in it.  My friends and I would play that stupid thing over and over and over and over because it was just so amazingly fun. 

No. I'm not a quitter.

stop trying to be funny and lose the 'cool' bad language, some is ok but after about the first few minutes its like every third word.

"too informative"? more like too much time spent making up your own half baked concept to understanding the story, which was probably explained in the intro anyway. I dont think anyone really wants to listen to you repeat a characters name repeatedly either, all kirby games have stupidly named characters, we know already.

Some parts were spot on, occasionally the humour/bad language and dry voice worked, but that was very occasional.

I think, if you are reviewing a retro game, keep is short, nobody wants to hear about the graphics, we know they re not gonna be good, point out its good points and why anyone would actually want to go back and download/buy this game.

Its KEY element of the game was the combining of powers, something which resulted in loads of different abilities.

Telling us its easy and its a platform game is like telling us Mario wears a red hat.

Consolevania got the whole attitude/humour/swearing thing just about right. I suggest watching a few of their reviews.

It's really not a matter of being a quitter or not, it's a matter at realizing you have a talent for some things and don't have any talent at others. About the only redeeming quality of your video was that the video editing wasn't bad. That's about it.

If you try and fail 200 times at something, it doesn't mean you're going to suddenly succeed, it just means you might not be but out for what you just failed at so many times. I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just trying to be real.

-edit-

And so I hopefully don't sound like a completel ass, let me explain a smidge bit further.  You might just be able to try another 200 times and finally manage to produce something that isn't horrible.  The thing is though you likely still aren't going to be able to make something consistently that's actually good and you're competing against people for attention that can fairly consistently make something good.

Again, not trying to sound mean here, but your best isn't likely going to be near their just good.  So as far as AVGN nerd and possibly even video reviewer goes, perhaps you should just try something else.