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Forums - General Discussion - The LGBT thread (Revisited)

Pemalite said:
JWeinCom said:

I think you underestimate the ability of men to be sketchy if you think the doors on stalls are really going to stop them. And whether or not some people will always do sketchy things in bathrooms, the question is if we can minimize those things through segregation.  

Lets suppose that studies find that women being harassed is actually a problem in non-segregated bathrooms.  What is the benefit to non-segregated bathrooms that would outweigh this issue?

There are always going to be sketchy men. - And they are always going to be doing Sketchy things, not all men target women remember.
And I don't underestimate how many dodgy people there are... I am in multiple rescue agencies, I see the worst there is... But also some of the best.

Better toilet layouts and designs to minimize such behaviour is a better approach, don't have open spaces under/above doors for perverts to look under/above is one such measure... Better lighting helps too.
Having toilet blocks in more open, centralized spaces helps a ton as well in keeping shifty characters away.

JWeinCom said:

Generally, in sexual harassment/abuse, the aggressors tend to be men and the victims female.  Male/male or female/female sexual harassment doesn't tend to be as big of an issue.  So there's not that much need to keep gay/bi people out of men's rooms.

Regardless though, bi people need access to bathrooms.  So, even if male/male or female/female harassment was a major concern, we'd have to allow bi people in bathrooms because there's really no alternative.  Aside from the fact that I don't know how we'd possibly enforce it, the harm done by not allowing bi people access to any bathroom would outweigh the harm done by some of them potentially using bathrooms to harass people. 

Sexuality and sex are different things... And I don't think it is logistically possible to create further toilet segregation based on those traits.

If men are assaulting women, they will do it outside of a toilet environment, clearly they lack the self control of a dignified human being, so hows about we catch them before it even gets to that point first?

JWeinCom said:

On the contrary though, we already have a system in place that can reduce the risk of men harassing or assaulting women, which can be implemented without denying anyone access to restrooms.  So, in that case, why not use this system?

We have unisex toilets here that generally go without incident. It's not actually that big of a deal, no one is being denied access.

Runa brought up sexuality.

Segregated bathrooms potentially reduce abuse (I don't know, I haven't really read studies).  Even if they don't, they tend to make women, at least in America, feel safer.  And people here at least just tend to prefer it this way.  So why exactly would we want to change that?  I would be open to changing it, but only if there were some benefit to doing so.  



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JWeinCom said:

Runa brought up sexuality.

Segregated bathrooms potentially reduce abuse (I don't know, I haven't really read studies).  Even if they don't, they tend to make women, at least in America, feel safer.  And people here at least just tend to prefer it this way.  So why exactly would we want to change that?  I would be open to changing it, but only if there were some benefit to doing so.  

I know this isn't what you're doing, but your argument reminds me entirely too much of the 'gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage' argument. The idea that 'two men can't raise a kid as well as a man and a woman becuase a man and a woman is how it's always been' is just wrong, no studies support the stance, and if anything the research done into it has shown the opposite. but, appealing to the masses or appealing to tradition works, it gets people to believe what you're saying.

Your argument here about split-gender bathrooms really doesn't hold any water. you even said 'I don't know, I haven't really read studies' when defending your stance. Your argument seems to stem less from any real digging, research, or logical progression but more of an appeal to 'well this is how I'm used to it and I can't be convinced any other way is better'. Your assertions are outright wrong or circumstantial, your points are misleading, and almost none of your actual arguments are anything more than 'ewww, I don't wanna share a bathroom', and are justifying it with outright wrong stats about assault happening in bathrooms that SOUND right (Because Men can suck, for sure) but aren't accurate (Because it's not men, it's shitty people in general and it CAN happen both ways). 

Your stance is, at its core, sexist. It assumes that all men (or at least a larger percentage of men) are shitty, scummy, could-be rapists and putting them in unisex bathrooms with women is just asking the women to get raped. IT's just not how it works. when unisex bathrooms are implemented, there's no significant difference in assault happening. Period. But you seem uncomfortable with the idea so you're making shit up that sounds right to justify your stance. Please don't do that, it doesn't help. IF you're uncomfortable with something, that's fine. You're allowed to have an opinion. But please don't masquerade that personal feeling as a fact. That's not how we make progress in these troubled times. 



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Runa216 said:
JWeinCom said:

Runa brought up sexuality.

Segregated bathrooms potentially reduce abuse (I don't know, I haven't really read studies).  Even if they don't, they tend to make women, at least in America, feel safer.  And people here at least just tend to prefer it this way.  So why exactly would we want to change that?  I would be open to changing it, but only if there were some benefit to doing so.  

I know this isn't what you're doing, but your argument reminds me entirely too much of the 'gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage' argument. The idea that 'two men can't raise a kid as well as a man and a woman becuase a man and a woman is how it's always been' is just wrong, no studies support the stance, and if anything the research done into it has shown the opposite. but, appealing to the masses or appealing to tradition works, it gets people to believe what you're saying.

Your argument here about split-gender bathrooms really doesn't hold any water. you even said 'I don't know, I haven't really read studies' when defending your stance. Your argument seems to stem less from any real digging, research, or logical progression but more of an appeal to 'well this is how I'm used to it and I can't be convinced any other way is better'. Your assertions are outright wrong or circumstantial, your points are misleading, and almost none of your actual arguments are anything more than 'ewww, I don't wanna share a bathroom', and are justifying it with outright wrong stats about assault happening in bathrooms that SOUND right (Because Men can suck, for sure) but aren't accurate (Because it's not men, it's shitty people in general and it CAN happen both ways). 

Your stance is, at its core, sexist. It assumes that all men (or at least a larger percentage of men) are shitty, scummy, could-be rapists and putting them in unisex bathrooms with women is just asking the women to get raped. IT's just not how it works. when unisex bathrooms are implemented, there's no significant difference in assault happening. Period. But you seem uncomfortable with the idea so you're making shit up that sounds right to justify your stance. Please don't do that, it doesn't help. IF you're uncomfortable with something, that's fine. You're allowed to have an opinion. But please don't masquerade that personal feeling as a fact. That's not how we make progress in these troubled times. 

I say... "I would be open to changing it, but only if there were some benefit to doing so."

You characterize what I said as..."well this is how I'm used to it and I can't be convinced any other way is better'.

You're not only putting words in my mouth, but words that are literally the opposite of what I said.

Runa216 said:
JWeinCom said:

Runa brought up sexuality.

Segregated bathrooms potentially reduce abuse (I don't know, I haven't really read studies).  Even if they don't, they tend to make women, at least in America, feel safer.  And people here at least just tend to prefer it this way.  So why exactly would we want to change that?  I would be open to changing it, but only if there were some benefit to doing so.  

I know this isn't what you're doing, but your argument reminds me entirely too much of the 'gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage' argument. The idea that 'two men can't raise a kid as well as a man and a woman becuase a man and a woman is how it's always been' is just wrong, no studies support the stance, and if anything the research done into it has shown the opposite. but, appealing to the masses or appealing to tradition works, it gets people to believe what you're saying.

Your argument here about split-gender bathrooms really doesn't hold any water. you even said 'I don't know, I haven't really read studies' when defending your stance. Your argument seems to stem less from any real digging, research, or logical progression but more of an appeal to 'well this is how I'm used to it and I can't be convinced any other way is better'. Your assertions are outright wrong or circumstantial, your points are misleading, and almost none of your actual arguments are anything more than 'ewww, I don't wanna share a bathroom', and are justifying it with outright wrong stats about assault happening in bathrooms that SOUND right (Because Men can suck, for sure) but aren't accurate (Because it's not men, it's shitty people in general and it CAN happen both ways). 

Your stance is, at its core, sexist. It assumes that all men (or at least a larger percentage of men) are shitty, scummy, could-be rapists and putting them in unisex bathrooms with women is just asking the women to get raped. IT's just not how it works. when unisex bathrooms are implemented, there's no significant difference in assault happening. Period. But you seem uncomfortable with the idea so you're making shit up that sounds right to justify your stance. Please don't do that, it doesn't help. IF you're uncomfortable with something, that's fine. You're allowed to have an opinion. But please don't masquerade that personal feeling as a fact. That's not how we make progress in these troubled times. 

I say... "I would be open to changing it, but only if there were some benefit to doing so."

You characterize what I said as..."well this is how I'm used to it and I can't be convinced any other way is better'.

You're not only putting words in my mouth, but words that are literally the opposite of what I said.

Nowhere did I state it was most men, nor was that in any way implied by what I said.  I won't reply to strawmen. 

If by "a larger percentage of men" you mean a larger percentage of males than females are sexually abusive, then yes, I stand by that, because that's what the evidence shows.  Men are about ten times more likely to commit sexual assault than women.  Women are about ten times more likely to be victims.  http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/soo.pdf">https://web.archive.org/web/20130305070553/http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/soo.pdf https://www.who.int/violence_injury_prevention/resources/publications/en/guidelines_chap2.pdf It's not shitty people in general.  It is overwhelmingly shitty men.

Since we know that men are on the whole more likely to commit sexual abuse, and women are more likely to be victims, then it seems to be a reasonable inference that we should limit situations where men and women are in a semi-isolated location where surveillance is generally barred, and there will potentially be a lack of victims.  I think that's a reasonable inference. I'm not aware of studies done on unisex bathrooms except https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html.  Which seems to bear out my intuitions.  If you found other studies present that indicate otherwise present them, and I'll adjust my opinions accordingly. 

I never said that sharing a bathroom with women or trans people or whatever was in any way distasteful for me.  Again, I'm not going to reply to strawmen.

If we do things in a particular way that generally seems to work, then I think it stands to reason that we should not change that unless there is a good reason why a proposed change would be better.  Why would we do anything without good reason?

So, why exactly should we make this change?  I'm open to changing my mind, just nobody's presented a good reason why unisex bathrooms are preferable.

Last edited by JWeinCom - on 04 March 2020

Wouldn't this discussion be better suited to its own thread rather than take center stage in what I'm assuming is supposed to be a nice way for people to connect with each other? I'm not personally against said discussion being had, but I'm not sure the intent of the OP was to have debates about controversial and/or politically charged topics here.



Raven said:
Wouldn't this discussion be better suited to its own thread rather than take center stage in what I'm assuming is supposed to be a nice way for people to connect with each other? I'm not personally against said discussion being had, but I'm not sure the intent of the OP was to have debates about controversial and/or politically charged topics here.

You are probably correct.  And I apologize for taking things down that route.  I honestly just came for a quick question and got sidetracked.  I won't reply any further, and if anyone wants to continue they can post on my wall.



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Agreed, let's get back to being a wholesome support thread.



Gaymer here



axumblade said:
Just speaking with the mods and seeing a few threads on the sites lately that are a bit questionable. This site used to have a massive amount of LGBT users but that number is a lot lower than where it used to be. Overall, do you feel like VGChartz is a safe place for LGBT people?

There is a very questionable thread lately that has been barely dealt with.

Overall, I'd say VGC is mostly a safe space for the LGBT community most of the time, but then there's abrupt and nasty stuff like the not-so-veiled transphobia in the TLoU2 Spoilers thread that comes up sometimes.

Last edited by Moren - on 01 May 2020

axumblade said:
Just speaking with the mods and seeing a few threads on the sites lately that are a bit questionable. This site used to have a massive amount of LGBT users but that number is a lot lower than where it used to be. Overall, do you feel like VGChartz is a safe place for LGBT people?

I think we do better than most and while we do get the occasional terrible thread, it's not that bad as a whole.



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axumblade said:
Just speaking with the mods and seeing a few threads on the sites lately that are a bit questionable. This site used to have a massive amount of LGBT users but that number is a lot lower than where it used to be. Overall, do you feel like VGChartz is a safe place for LGBT people?

Can you define "safe" as admittedly I'm not that active on this site but I don't think most people here would want to attack you or anyone else based on your sexual orientation.

I feel that some of those "questionable" threads you're referring to are just some users who don't agree with certain social politics being forced into some videogames and want to express their opinions some might, do it better than others, but it's not that they have problems with LBGT people in general.