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Forums - General Discussion - Do you take crap from people?

I am the stereotypical gamer - introverted and passive. I only react to people's aggressive behaviors when my safety is at stake. For example when a person gives me a death stare for no reason than his antipathies towards me I usually simply ignore it and act like I'm not noticing it, it is also because I don't like any kinds of conflicts and violence. Apart from school, in my adulthood there have been only two people who made me rage and one of them was my dad, he was a very special person who could anger even the most patient and soft people but I concur.

Sometimes when I encounter assholes and don't react to their sh*t, I come home and start pondering and even have violent fantasies of yelling at them and beating them up which is unhealthy. I want to learn to start reacting little by little, for example I fantasize of telling them 'That's ok, I don't like you either' or something like that, na mean.



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People who don't take shit get hurt and die. Reacting to the antics of obvious assholes is one of the stupidest thing one can do. Head down, no eye contact and you'll be fine.



If you demand respect or gratitude for your volunteer work, you're doing volunteering wrong.

I can only imagine someone walking by you blinded by the sun with you thinking he gave a death stare. Thus you going home thinking evil thoughts on him.



There was a documentary film released in 1998 named Dirty Work, in which the central was theme was about taking crap from people. Check it out sometime. I think Vivster is on the right track with his comment. As far a your fantasies about getting revenge.....IDK if that's necessarily a bad thing. It could be kinda therapeutic. You seem to feel it's unhealthy though, so I suppose you're on top of that.



- "If you have the heart of a true winner, you can always get more pissed off than some other asshole."

COKTOE said:
There was a documentary film released in 1998 named Dirty Work

I'm on it, thanks :)



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This may help you



 

 

No, absolutely not. Working in retail ensures that. Words are the mightiest weapon and I am very sly with how I use mine. Not everybody is worth it though.



m0ney said:
COKTOE said:
There was a documentary film released in 1998 named Dirty Work

I'm on it, thanks :)

It was actually a comedy starring Norm Macdonald....But that taking crap is a theme is true! It's even in the opening monologue.



- "If you have the heart of a true winner, you can always get more pissed off than some other asshole."

Depends on if it's worth keeping worked up about really



I've always been a bigger guy. Tall and medium build. I used to be a wuss as a kid and teenager and took way more crap than I should have because I certainly didn't need to. It wasn't until my early 20's that I started to get an attitude. It took me years to get the hang of dealing with jerks, and it led to a few scraps which weren't much of a problem and I handled without much issue. I've been there more than a few times to back up some smaller friends who couldn't hold their own at times as well. Now, I hardly take crap from anyone. Unless the dude is a Gorilla, the chick is a psycho, or it's a group of them, then I just leave it be, especially if I'm alone.

You have to be able to judge people well based on their words, facial expressions, body language, etc, but it's not that easy and takes time plus many encounters. Even then you're bound to be wrong sometimes. Truth is the large majority of dickheads are all talk or show and no action. What's important is knowing how to make them feel small without acting like a know it all, but also not dealing with them on their low level. Both those scenario's could very well lead to things getting physical. You also need to be able to deal with the consequences if they do by chance man up, as unlikely as that may be. If you don't know anything about fighting I'd suggest steering clear. The best way to practice is to have other people with you. The bigger the better. Most a-holes won't push the limit if you or the people you're with look like they could be a problem physically. They will typically still shoot their mouth off though, and that gives you a chance to try your hand at getting them to back down.

What to say, how and when, is pretty tough to explain. It depends a lot on the scenario. The best approach I find is to be cocky but witty, and jokey at the same time. You have to at least act like you aren't intimidated and you 'know' they aren't the type to mess around either. You have to be careful not to 'laugh in their face' like you think you're untouchable or to make them feel like a laughing stock, because that can lead to trouble depending on the person. Just standing tall with your head up and shoulder's back even makes a big difference. You don't have to flex, just looking like your not spineless is enough many times to make a serious impression. Watching other people's altercations is a good way to learn, but you really have to pay attention because there's a lot to pick up on.

Whatever you do, don't act soft and don't be a 'nice guy'. They will instantly smell that and you'll just make things worse. Also make sure not to go full douchebag. Two total dickheads typically can only sort things out through getting physical. You want to find the middle ground, and be a smartass jerk basically. You don't really want them to think that you think you can kick their ass, you just want them to think that you know you can hold your own if they try to start sh*t, so they won't bother.

I don't suggest looking for trouble, and if fighting is not an option for you if it occurs, I suggest a punching bag or the gym if you need to get out some spartan rage.

Last edited by EricHiggin - on 16 May 2019