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Forums - NSFW Discussion - Unattractive males face rejection by society?

Immersiveunreality on 24 November 2018
Dark_Lord_2008 said:
Social isolation can be not just damaging, but can drive someone into a scarcity trap. Some people deprived of close social contact may appear to display behaviors that don’t seem to be doing themselves any favors. It’s easy point at this behaviors and say “no wonder your single,” but the issue is more complicated than that.

The scarcity trap was first found among people in poverty. They appeared to have good short term financial planing, but really bad long term behavior that actually worked to keep them in poverty. People in a hole will often dig themselves deeper. When your brain recognizes a shortage, it focuses on it to the exclusion of proper planing, proper behavior, proper awareness of your surroundings... This has been seen when the shortage is a lack of money, a lack of food, a lack of time, or loneliness. It applies here too. Yelling at people for having a “bad attitude” is about as effective as yelling at the poor for not saving money.

Yeah you do have the right intelligence but do not let overanalyzing get into the way of improving yourself,try to filter the info you have in your mind and focus on the practical things first cause this thoughttrain you are into has seem to hold you back from improving yourself as a lot of autistic people are just being blocked when processing too much info.



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vivster on 26 November 2018
Lonely_Dolphin said:
vivster said:

Happiness comes from within. I know you can't just snip a finger and suddenly be happy but it seems that his misery is mainly caused by misconceptions. That's something he could work on.

I know of extroverts who would literally die if they couldn't share themselves with someone else regularly but he says he's an introvert, so he should be fine. I am a complete introvert and I get by fine just by talking to people over the internet. But I also couldn't live without that contact. I just concentrate on things that make me happy and plenty of those things do not involve other people.

Introvert just means you're shy and lonely, it doesn't necessarily mean you're fine with being shy and lonely. It's great that you're fine with it, but I think it's clear the OP is not.

Popular misconception. Introversion has absolutely nothing to do with being shy or lonely. Having anxiety around other people doesn't make you an introvert, it makes you someone with mental problems. Introversion is a state of mind. The very definition of introversion is having a rich inner life and as a result of that one does not need as much social contact as extroverts. Introverts aren't alone because they're shy, they are alone out of preference. Also, alone =/= lonely. So basically introverts are the exact opposite of what you claim they are. I was shy once and had anxiety around other people but that was because I was young and inexperienced. Nowadays I have no issue talking with people and can feel comfortable to some degree in public settings. But I still choose to shut myself off from society as much as possible because that is my preference and I can go quite some time without substantial human contact, which is what makes me an introvert.

The degree to which OP clings to society and social contact makes him seem like an extrovert rather than an introvert. If you cannot live prolonged periods of time alone and crave attantion all the time, then you're not an introvert. Then you're an extrovert with anxiety issues. From the way OP talks it's quite apparent that he is not alone by choice, but by force and he is agonizing about it. That's not an introvert then.



If you demand respect or gratitude for your volunteer work, you're doing volunteering wrong.

Soundwave on 26 November 2018

Anyone can build a muscular body, get in the gym, learn to lift, and start eating right.

Anyone can improve their financial position, learn how to invest.

Anyone can develop better people skills, if you're willing to learn from experiences and adapt.

Start developing good habits, if you're looking at your daily schedule and 90-100% of the things you do are a net negative to what kind of life you want in the long term, start flipping out some of those bad habits for good ones. And yes, that might mean putting down the game controller and getting off the internet for some blocks of time each day.



Dark_Lord_2008 on 26 November 2018

Why would I waste my time pursuing something I have no hope of obtaining? It makes better sense to accept I have no chance and start living my life my own way. Happiness is not pursuing the unobtainable things in life. Making realistic goals and doing the best I can to obtain them will bring me happiness in life: financial, education, lifestyle and health/fitness goals. I have struggled with mental health issues for the majority of life and it has made my life challenging. Being lonely and scared of rejection has plagued my entire life and it has made life difficult and frustrating.  I set easy realistic goals like cycle for 2 hours or jog 30 to 60 minutes or read a book, etc.  I can obtain those goals and feel better about myself. 

Last edited by Dark_Lord_2008 - on 26 November 2018

DrDoomz on 26 November 2018

Idunno, I just feel like we’re all being trolled here, so imma bow out of this whole convo.