That's true but it is way more complex than that, when you have autism and you are constantly stressed out because of how much information the brain has to consume it can be hard to make room for happiness. A lot also do want to be extrovert but cannot handle the social pressure and being out of control, its not really a choice.

Would be more easier to change the outside first instead of the within in case of autism. :p

Well, having been on both sides of the situation (I was a socially awkward introvert when I was young but then busted out and became pretty succesful in the dating game in my early 20s), my take on it is that I disagree about unattractive men being losers, but it is the men who posses a loser’s attitude who become unattractive.

It is excusable when you are in your teens to early 20s for you to feel socially awkward and unsuccesful while you are still figuring yourself out. You wouldn’t have a sense of style yet and your experience in life hasn’t developed to a point where you are interesting as a person. You also would be either unemployed or just starting off on your career. But one thing you DO have is time and energy. Plenty of it. So I recommend you use this time to get a job, hit the gym and then (when you have the time/money) travel. Work hard and don’t expect life to just give things to you. Earn it. When you’ve managed to fix your personal defficiencies, confidence comes naturally. Til then, you’re only a loser if you make yourself one. Seriously, I know someone who suffered 3rd degree burns in like 40% of his face and body and he still manages to be succesful in dating by being succesful and interesting. There really is no excuse.

Autism is a life long struggle that only people with it can understand how challenging and difficult life can be to constantly struggle to fit in and never be accepted.  I have Autism and I am an extreme introvert. My life is not going to change by positive thinking or whatever suggestions you make. Making friends is very hard for us extreme introverts no one accepts people with Autism. I have focused more on fitness: cycling and running for the last 6 years but that does not change anything, no change in being an extreme introvert and I am still Autistic. I have never been accepted by society and will never be accepted by society. I always hated being labeled the freak/weirdo/creep/outcast/loser by randoms and it always upsets me. Every negative opinion gets to me and upsets me and I try to avoid social situations. I hate being misunderstood and not being accepted by society.  I have always felt like the entire world has being working against me despite how hard I have tried to fit into society. Life is not fair!

Then, just don't? Why do you need to fit in? Why do you need to be accepted by people who don't care about you? There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or autism for that matter. Good people will not care either way.

I may not have autism but I'm an extreme introvert myself and I avoid social events as much as I can. I'm also over sensitive and too much stimulation from the outside world can be overwhelming. But you know what helps against that? Not going into that outside world or even worse, actively seeking acceptance and inclusion there. You seem to think that acceptance by society is somehow necessary or a noble goal but that is just plain wrong. How hard is a simple concept such as avoid people you don't like or don't like you and try to get closer to people you do like, and I'm sure there are some.

You seem like an abused girlfriend who can't ditch her boyfriend even though he rapes her on a regular basis. When you're in that kind of abusive relationship and can't get out you need a therapist. Because to me it seems you actively seek out to be abused. You can't get abused if you don't go to abusers.

I can’t really speak for your Autism, brah. Is it a crippling case or are you simply in “the spectrum”? I ask this because you sound very much able to express yourself online. I do know that there are cases of Autism where an individual is highly capable of expressing themselves through written/typed words but have an inability to express themselves through spoken words. But if all you’re saying is that you were diagnosed with Autism due to very poor socializing abilities, then I gotta say I used to have that problem and then some and I managed to become very succesful in dating later on in life (early 20s).

Regardless of the severity of your condition, I will have to say that your title is wrong (Shouldn’t it be “Men with crippling mental disabilities cannot socialize enough to be found attractive” rather than “Unattractive men = automatic losers”?). It is wrong because your premise is wrong. Men are not losers because they are unattractive. They are unattractive because they CHOOSE to be losers. Well, the vast majority of them anyway. There is the tiny percent that have truly crippling disabilities that cannot be helped. But they are the exception, not the rule. For the rest, it is because they are lazy and bitter (because of a sense of entitlement) and scared.

I was fat (300lbs at one point), deathly afraid of social interaction, had numerous crippling (but treatable) mental issues when I was younger, I had zero ability to talk to women, had no money (tho my parents had money, I was living away from them), no sports and spent most of my days inside my room playing video games and reading novels. I had no friends, I was relentlessly bullied (and, to my deep regret, I lashed out and became a bit of a bully myself to those smaller than me). Up until I was 17, that was my life. I turned it around within a few years. It was tough, but I got thru it. By my early 20s, I was living a very healthy dating life and I have to say it is because I decided to stop worrying about being attractive and just worked on myself (w/c, in turn, made me attractive). I am in my 40s now, and I gotta say, 90% of my suffering in my youth, I could attribute to myself. My own actions and inactions.

The same applies to the 99% of men out there. They’re not getting any because they chose this for themselves. Once they own up to that fact, they can take back their lives and actually stop being the “losers” they feel they are.

Blaming everyone else is so much more comfortable though.

I talk in a monotone voice and show a lack of facial expressions and a lack of emotions. I can not read body language or pick up on social cues or even pick up sarcasm/irony. It is so sad not being able to fit into society and random people say cruel things. Evil/freak/ugly/cold/retard, etc are hurtful comments. Life is not fair and people can be so cruel. They are just ignorant and I just shrug it off.

If you just shrug it off why does this thread exist?

What's so great about society anyway that you crave mainstream attention?

That’s... It?

How old are you, again? If you don’t mind me asking?

I am in my mid 30s and my Mental health issues and Autism and being long-term unemployed make me an unattractive male. There are people with other issues that make them unattractive males and struggle through life and face rejection by society. This is a discussion thread of the struggles of unattractive males facing rejection by society that does not give them a fair chance.