Slightly bigger screen. More power. Make it easier to charge while playing.

I want a smaller no joycon version that resembles a gameboy. Same power and still dockable. Still able to connect controllers and even Joycons just without attaching them to the sides. Maybe rework the buttons so that there's a proper D-pad, buttons and dual analog all still in tact on this smaller bit of kit. Something the size of PS Vita.

This would also be cheaper since they could cut down some rumble functionality in the process. When it reaches $149 or less you could start seeing DS Lite style adoption, maybe.

an upgrade which prevented people on forums who would never buy the system from talking about its spec's as though they would ever have bought it even if it ticked all those boxes.

Maybe... some form of long stick that was packed in with new systems? so you could smack people on the head who say things like 4k or no dock.. or no joycons, ya know, those sort of things.

I would have figured you would have larger pockets to accommodate your above average hands?

I want an extra GB of RAM, so that 4 GB are dedicated to games and one can still be dedicated to the OS. I would also like a newer, more efficient Tegra chip - meaning battery life could be maintained while still hitting 720p handheld, and games that don't push the envelope could get extended life to 4-5hrs. That would also mean docked mode could target 900 and 1080p for more games - since there's little concern for battery life (that would also mean the dock might require active cooling).

Add a longer battery life and let the money roll in.

A revised kickstand and game card access hatch would be a nice touch.  The kickstand, although functional, is quite chintzy.  The access to the game card would be nicer if on a wide opening hinge, rather than flexible plastic tabs.  Battery life has been a non issue for myself, but I'm sure an improved battery would be nice for many people.  I Highly doubt that they will revamp their dock with all the 3rd party options.

Tergra X2 to smooth things out, especially in handheld mode and bluetooth headset support!

LOL!

Ah yes! The one with the unusual joycon.