Thank you so much for sharing your story. When my son was first diagnosed I wanted to meet other parents who were going through similar things so that I wouldn't feel so singled out. I know it's an epidemic but it doesn't feel like one when you are all alone in it. Your reply makes me wish I had posted about this to VGchartz way back when just to swap stories with a couple people at least.

Working Tech support at Nintendo over the summer is probably the only time I got to talk to other parents of kids on the spectrum.  I was shocked at how many calls I got from moms and grandmas who were trying to set up repairs for their autistic kiddos game systems. I was still not acquainted with talking to other people about the subject and i'd get a lump in my throat during the call every time.

I'm autistic.

I can't offer advice on your love life, but I can share some insights about life on the spectrum. Obviously I don't know your son, but these are just general things I have learned from my own life and from my job working with autistic kids.

First of all, always remember that just because your son may be non-verbal, doesn't mean he's not switched on. I work with a guy who is non-verbal and just assumed to be stupid when he was younger, but once he was taught to communicate via keyboard in his teens, he went on to become a published author and give "talks" at international conferences. Be very careful of what you say in front of him, because all too people say damaging things in front of non-verbal autistics assuming they don't understand, when in fact they can hear and comprehend everything.

Secondly, while it may be hard for you to let go of the future you had envisioned for your son, keep in mind that he can still go on you live a happy and fulfilling life. You may simply need to find alternative pathways that work for him. He will have his own ways of communicating, his own passions, his own coping mechanisms. Find out what those are, and play to his strengths instead of trying to force him to conform to the your/society's expectations of normality.

Don't assume that because he is autistic he will never amount to anything. Don't treat it like a disease; it's more like a different operating system. Imagine, if you will, that he is a Windows PC is a world where most people operate on Mac OSX. He may have challenges with things that others find easy, but chances are he's also brilliant at some things others find difficult. As human beings we are all good at some things and rubbish at others, those of us on the spectrum simply tend to be more specialized.

Identify his interests and encourage him to pursue them.Try to see his strengths instead of just his struggles. It's hard for a kid to believe in themselves if they don't think their parent believes in them. Kids absorb the attitudes of those around them; he will need you to be a source of positivity and support for him.

Also, it's important that you connect with other parents of spectrum kids; not only will you be able to learn and gain support from them, but having other children on the spectrum as friends can really help a kid on the spectrum not feel so alone.

There's a saying among those of us on the spectrum; we don't "suffer" from autism, we suffer from society's attitude towards autism. Most of us are pretty happy with who we are, we just find it difficult interfacing with the non-autistic majority since our thought processes can be so different.

It's a tough gig raising an autistic child, but your son needs you to be his champion.

The name you are trying to remember is aspergers. And yes it is tough to be around people that are not emotionally or socially intuitive. Luckily you didn't have to deal with low functioning.

I'm currently working at a preschool and my job is to help autistic 4 year olds get along with the program the typical kids are on. I wish I could just work with typical kids it's so much more natural. I do not enjoy my job.

Thanks for the advice. I've never been able to just find happiness on my own. In astrological terms, I'm a goat and therefore a dependent by nature. Also, next year is a dog year so I have to work within a pack to succeed in it.

I should have taken the advice about the roommate. I merely mentioned that the notion crossed my mind and she decided immediately that rooming under those circumstances was no good.

Wait, you seriously believe in astrology?

Yeah I was letting my thoughts out and it felt good so I kept flowing into that situation which was current as of the writing. I've always wanted to breed. I'm the only male with my last name that I've ever met. I've never had a large family. And I fear missing out as I'm getting older. Also sometimes I think it is the main objective to spread ones DNA. I'd hate to die and have no grandchildren. I'm 38. My only kid might not breed as I don't know if he'll ever grow into his own.

But I understand where you are coming from.

So, you mainly see your children as a means of carrying your lineage? I'd say that's the wrong way of viewing your child.

So does much of the world.

I'm just going to say that I already mentioned in the OP that I wanted to kick the ball back and forth with them and teach them life's complexities. Feel free to give me your view of having a child.

I here you. I want to take care of my family first. Problem is, I don't know how to do that. Do I stay a unit until I can financially support myself and them.. then move out and pay child support and do visitation? Cause I think that's the right answer.. please help me out on that.

Everything gets hammered into my kid. It was hard but the first thing he learned how to do was "wave" hi and bye. and he does it with his hand backwards, and needs prompting "say bye". If there's no huge reward like ice cream or what not then he refuses to learn anything new and it takes massive repetition. Sometimes he flat out refuses to do something and then months later he's suddenly an expert at it. 

Thank you for sharing your insight man it really is nice to hear peoples perspectives. I get overwhelmed by my reality and lose focus. So your reply is helpful to see things from a more normal angle.

I don't have Autism however I've recently suspected that I may be on the Asperger's spectrum. It hasn't affected my ability to function but has definitely affected my many interactions that I have had in the past.