I'm autistic.
I can't offer advice on your love life, but I can share some insights about life on the spectrum. Obviously I don't know your son, but these are just general things I have learned from my own life and from my job working with autistic kids.
First of all, always remember that just because your son may be non-verbal, doesn't mean he's not switched on. I work with a guy who is non-verbal and just assumed to be stupid when he was younger, but once he was taught to communicate via keyboard in his teens, he went on to become a published author and give "talks" at international conferences. Be very careful of what you say in front of him, because all too people say damaging things in front of non-verbal autistics assuming they don't understand, when in fact they can hear and comprehend everything.
Secondly, while it may be hard for you to let go of the future you had envisioned for your son, keep in mind that he can still go on you live a happy and fulfilling life. You may simply need to find alternative pathways that work for him. He will have his own ways of communicating, his own passions, his own coping mechanisms. Find out what those are, and play to his strengths instead of trying to force him to conform to the your/society's expectations of normality.
Don't assume that because he is autistic he will never amount to anything. Don't treat it like a disease; it's more like a different operating system. Imagine, if you will, that he is a Windows PC is a world where most people operate on Mac OSX. He may have challenges with things that others find easy, but chances are he's also brilliant at some things others find difficult. As human beings we are all good at some things and rubbish at others, those of us on the spectrum simply tend to be more specialized.
Identify his interests and encourage him to pursue them.Try to see his strengths instead of just his struggles. It's hard for a kid to believe in themselves if they don't think their parent believes in them. Kids absorb the attitudes of those around them; he will need you to be a source of positivity and support for him.
Also, it's important that you connect with other parents of spectrum kids; not only will you be able to learn and gain support from them, but having other children on the spectrum as friends can really help a kid on the spectrum not feel so alone.
There's a saying among those of us on the spectrum; we don't "suffer" from autism, we suffer from society's attitude towards autism. Most of us are pretty happy with who we are, we just find it difficult interfacing with the non-autistic majority since our thought processes can be so different.
It's a tough gig raising an autistic child, but your son needs you to be his champion.
Last edited by curl-6 - on 18 December 2017
