Yeah, I hate to say it, but you deserve every bit of punishment that karma/fate/your likely-irate fiance doles out to you.

Nobody forced you to cheat on your fiance. You did that yourself. You hurt her, you hurt your daughter, and you have nobody to blame but yourself. You can try to brush it off as "coincidence," or the lies that this girl told you, but the fact remains that nobody but you dropped your pants the first time, and every time after.

I mean, seriously. You're 31. If you were this girl's age, I'd chalk it up to the fact that relationships don't really matter until you're out of your teens anyway. But you should know better.

The word karma springs to mind ;) just hope she doesnt read your posts!

Yea sounds like karma man. Seriously maybe it's for the best though. How much could you have loved your fiance if you are willing to cheat on her? Also how unfair is it to your fiance if she is marrying a guy that will cheat on her? She deserves better.

Although I don't like the way you try and blame it all on the 19year old =/
''I'm not saying I'm a victim here ------ I learned who was really responsible for my woes. You'd think I would be smarter than that, since it's my job to spot bullshit and all. I'm sure she's had many good laughs over me.''
Sounds like you are saying the entire thing is her fault. You have to own up and accept when you make mistakes.

My advice would be to consider if you can actually do a monogamus relationship. Maybe it's just not for you. So find a girlfriend that is willing to have a non-exclusive relationship. Or try and find a girl that you love enough that you simply aren't willing to cheat on her.

 In my experience, "open relationships" usually take place among emotionally-stunted losers who don't have the willpower or maturity to commit to a real, adult relationship.

But, whatever floats your boat. =P

Like I said earlier, you really should get some counseling about this. Sometimes those ppl are quacks, but usually they can help. Start going by yourself to understand why you did this to begin with, then ask your ex to come along. Make sure that you keep up a good relationship with your daughter.... Sorry I can't help any more. It is all up to you now.

I just want to know one thing.

When does the book come out?

On a serious note luinil is right counseling would probably be a good idea, to help solve issues and regain focus.

Holy crap I want a hot 19 yr old....

Bad, bad move. Just tell your wife about her - a co-worker you are concerned about. Dude, it happens. Consider this - you are with your co-workers at least 8 hours a day, your significant other a lot but not over time. Who really ends up knowing you more?  But QFT - I have hawt ladies as friends at my job in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s AND 60s who flirt, call me cute and handsome and the like. Dang ... I guess I'll just eat with the guys and get grossed out. On second thought ... hmmmmm

OT: Man, all I have to say is simple - you got OWN3D. She's hot and diggs a po-po/security dude who's an ace? Man, I'd be even more careful. Your *5-0* spidey sense didn't kick in? That's one of the few professions where you have to be vigilant.

All I know is - as a vet of the written word, that junk is hella incriminating. I remember this case where an airman kidnapped this chick, had sex with her repeatedly and finally ended up getting own3d in a Ford Fiesta (that is a crime in itself ...) Anyhow, the defense produced (no joke), every letter, every condom and receipt from his entire period hollering at her. EVERY one, even the ones he tried to burn. And that was back in 1991. Technology and snooping has advanced so much that folks can tell if you're lying by your facial expressions.

For me, I look at the consequence. Apparently, the tang was good enough to risk your fiancee with. Seriously, I learned about that with whippings. You calculate the job vs. the pain, time of spanking and duration of each lick and ask yourself is it worth it. For some things, it was. Others, like an awesome woman vs. coochie, you can't turn a whoe into a housewife.

Trust me, I notice some hottiez, but they aren't even remotely worth me losing my children and my wife. But you have to be strong to realize it's just tempation. If she wants to peel her clothes off that fast, and she's not your significant other, your wife and the like, ask yourself - is it worth it?

Truth is, she may take you back one day, but you hit her with a pack of lies, son. You are gonna have to work hard, HARD to win her back. 

Oh yeah, el ... her admitting she loved you was totally disrespectful to your wife. Oh, it sounds good, makes you feel like Ron Jeremy, but it's trouble. As much as you and I have invested in our marriages, dude, if I am getting caught, it would be with like 3-4 women ... and I'll tell all of them 'Can't we all get along?!"

lets have a moment of silence for D21Lewis as if his wife/girlfriend is anything like mine his life will be sure to end some time very soon lol. bad luck m8