How did Microsoft screw you? 

Wii U - 3D Pokemon adventure (not Colosseum types) or true Super Mario RPG Sequel (NOT paper mario or M&L Sagas)
Xbox One - A miracle.

OT: Ouya: Absolutely nothing.

EDIT! I lied. If I break my kitchen chair, or table, it could be used as a nice balancing piece :) 

EDIT (2): Another lie... If I ever feel like I want an expensive drink coaster. 

Wii U: Waiting for a good sale
PS4: Uncharted 4 and Bloodborne

I have them all. They very nice pieces of hardware, each one in it´s own way: Xbox One have Xbox Fitness and a very confortable controler. The PS4 is a excelent machine with tons of free stuff. And the WiiU is just adorable.

Oh, I'm just waiting for God of War IV to be announced so I know it's coming sooner rather than later, then the PS4 is mine.

Wii U: Tabletless version with Zelda U at $199.

Xbox One: maybe if Microsoft gives them away for free with no strings attached. Otherwise, no. The Wii U and PS4 are supplying my gaming needs adequately.

A gift certificate for the exact price of the console + 3 games of my choosing redeemable only for that console and games playable on that console. Other than that I'm good with what I've got.

Better 3rd party multiplats - it's as simple as that for me. I don't typically buy Playstation or Xbox for 1st party titles, with the possible exception of the Uncharted series, which I love. A Bioshock Trilogy (1080p/60fps) and an Uncharted Trilogy (same specs) along with Uncharted 4 would be enough for me to pick up a PS4 once it's $299.

XB1, however, is a tougher sell for me. Quantum Break looks intriguing, but it's going to take something unforeseen like a "Rare on their A-game" Banjo and Blast Corps for me to bite.