Luck on 12 December 2013
| Aielyn said: If this was a first attempt at a troll/sarcasm thread, it wasn't too bad... as a first go. If I may provide a bit of critique... 1. It didn't do enough to sucker in the people that are being mocked. The first couple of paragraphs need to read as completely serious, without any sense of irony within it. It can't read like you're smirking through it. 2. It needs to be more extensive - just listing off two games in one genre and stopping at that isn't enough, it needs to actually make the counterpoint to its own sarcastic content. 3. It failed to "complete" - the post kind of petered out at the end, and went too direct (not enough snark or sarcasm). It didn't summarise itself, either. In this context, you should have noted that, while there are a lot of Mario games, they have great variety in gameplay, from 2D and 3D platformer, through racer, party game, RPG, etc... but played out in reverse (such as "Nintendo are so lacking in game creation skills that they put just one character into a huge number of games, as though they lack the game development creativity necessary to have a a huge number of IPs in just one genre" - this is an unrefined form, of course, thought up over just a few seconds, but it gets the gist across). Following on with things like "And now they're even leaving it up to the player to create their characters in their newer franchise, the Wii series" would have helped, too. |
Critique duly noted. You bring alot of good points. To my defense, I didn't wanted to spend too much time writing it and english is my second language.
