First, what follows is unrealistic and won't happen, so don't bother to mention that it's unrealistic and won't happen.

I would just like to see all VGX attendants, gaming press people, bloggers and internet forum dwellers lose their shit at once. Like there was a huge disturbance in the force.

Imagine this:

Reggie together with Iwata and Miyamoto holds an average presentation. Just when everybody thinks it's over, and all bloggers are already preparing mean tweets and Nintendo doom posts, Reggie mentions they have one more trailer.

Cue epic music... Zelda U trailer starts playing. It doesn't look cartoonish as everybody feared/expected. It shows a gritty dark world and a fantastic looking adult link. As a result, a few fanboys have shit their pants from excitement. Some people actually tweet their excitement.

Okay, now the show's over.

But wait. In a Columbo fashion Reggie turns around, mumbling, "Oh, uh, one more thing..."

Smoke is blown onto the stage, and as it clears, we see somebody... big... very big... It's Gabe Newell!

The crowd goes huuuuuuh?! Dafuk?!

The guys on stage shake hands and exchange man hugs.

The announcement: Nintendo will port 3 of their big games and release them on Steam. In exchange: Half Life (3) U with Wii U specific controls exclusively on Wii U.

Bam! The hall starts to smell, because too many people lost their shit at the megaton bomb.

Twitter servers break down.

VG Chartz forums go into denial. "Who wants Half Life 3 anyway?", they say. "It's not hardcore enough," they say...

1. Titanfall announced for Wii U.

2. GTA V is coming exclusively for PS4 (for next gen).

3. Agent (rockstar) becomes multiplatform.

4. Red dead "regenve" is announced for PS4 and Xbox One.

It wouldn't be stupid of Nintendo to give the go-ahead for Wonderful 101 and Bayonetta 2 on Steam. Still timed exclusive on Wii U, of course. Not like those games are selling many consoles.

You mortals set your expectations WAY too low.

Reggie steps out at the Nintendo VGX presentation, and sits on his throne before the audience.

"Gentlemen! And ladies," Reggie says with a mischievous grin. "Needless to say there have been many rumors of why Nintendo has put together for this presentation for you esteemed folk of the press. Simply put, the era of strife and ubprofitability will now end. Today Nintendo will usher in a new era. An era of gaming bliss, of power beyond the dreams of anyone."

Reggie than proceeds to slowly step upward, his hulkin ogre-like appearance now far taller and more menacing than the crowd had thought before. He sneers at the crowd with a knowing intensity.

"Today I announce the newest Wii U patch update," Reggie's voice booms, as though a trumpet of the very Gods is in his throat. "This patch will strikingly increase the performance. Wii U will now be a multithreaded processor which has 16 threads working at 5 GHz. Its graphical powers will increase to the point that even in 2025 manufacturers will be scratching their heads over how powerful the Wii U has become. The very material structure of the RAM has changed so that it will now work as though it were 64 GB, rather than just two."

Reggie's facial expression then turns menacing. He casts a look over at journalists who clearly support Microsoft and Sony, then he spoke: "I have also arranged something with my friends in China, we have made a generous donation, and Sony and Microsoft plants have recently been mysteriously destroyed. In addition, it seems now Interpol has listed a surprisingly large number of Sony and Microsoft executives as terrorists, enemies of the free world. You love freedom right? Then you will join me!"

Reggie then begins laughing, but there is no real genuine joy that can be detected, only sadistic pleasure!

Then driving out from backstage on a solid gold car based on Bowser's travel sphere is Iwata.

"A new law has passed in Japan," Iwata says. "The law assigns absolute authority over all videogame development in the world. Please understand, the American government has complied. Also, they have agreed to sell us the entire west coast sports teams and all of their exclusive rights to franchises! You want your NFL football, your baseball stick game, that golf game, basketball? Only on Nintendo!"

"We are also forcing Square and Enix to remake Final fantasy 7, and with no girly men!" Iwata says, his face curling now in retchedness.

"You journalists pro and anti-Nintendo will now only post positive things about us!" Says Iwata.


People in the media are becoming restless now.
The pro-Sony and Microsoft journalists are outraged at this blatant attack on their Nexgenhd console biases, some of them start crying. Others begin to yell.

All of the sudden! Soldiers pour into the room, many surrounding Iwata, but to defend him and not attack him.

"We also now own the rights to guns in games by purchasing the support of the military," Iwata says. "Do you all understand now?"

And at that cue, all of the soldiers cock their machine guns.

"Will everyone comply?" Iwata asks, innocent smile, though Reggie seems to be a fiery red, and he has a flowing cape that people didn't seem to notice before.

Silence.

"Now for our really big announcement!" Iwata said.

Then the terror seems to melt away in an instant, and light and cherry blossoms, and sparkling confetti poured out as though the very Gods were shining down upon them.

"Pokemon MMO!" Iwata says. "Everyone must play!"

Anyway, if this happens. I called it first!

You didn't mention Pokemon MMO... you failed to really go overly unrealistic.

Pokemon MMO that would be awesome!!!
but Zelda as well...

If they announced TimeSplitters 4, that would probably make me crap in my pants.

It's been such a long time, that outside of the hardcore gaming audience HL3 won't do much, hence it is not a megaton.

Fixed.

LOL! I was listening to this when I read the OP: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tzer8ZCW-Ys It was EPIC!