What are the main differences between a maroccan and ET?
1: ET had his own bike
2: ET wanted to learn the language
3: ET wanted to go home.

Here's my favourite Joke. Only read it if your not offended by racist jokes.

There is this black kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the black kids. So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. Hey dad look im white! His dad kicks his ass, and says alright go show your mother. Hey mom look im white! His mom beats the shit out of him then says go show your gradma. Hey gradma look im white she beats his ass and sends him to his room. About an hour later all the family comes to his room and says have you learned anything from this? The kid says yeah ive learned i have only been white for an hour and I already hate 3 niggers.

Q. How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?



A. To get to the other side.


If you don't get it just think about it for awhile.

little johny comes home from school and as he walks through the door he hears some faint moaning sounds coming from upstairs
he has no clue what they are, so he walks around the house, but the sounds dont stop
so he decides to walk up the stairs and find out what the sounds are. he notices they coming from his mums room, and he creeps ever so slowly to see what is going on.
the door is slightly open and he decides to peek, there he sees his mum completely naked on the bed squeezing her nipples with one hand and fingering herself with the other shouting "god i need a man, god i need a man"
he thinks this is weird but decides to do nothing about it
the next day same thing happens he comes home from school and the moaning is there again and he checks upstairs and sure enough mum still doing the same thing

this goes on for a couple of weeks

then one day
he comes home and sure enough mum is moaning, so he takes no notice and turns to go into kitchen for a bite to eat. but as he turns he hears a mans voice also moaning!!
so as quickly and as quietly as he can he rushes up stairs to see wats going on
and sure enough here is mum naked on the bed but there is a guy on top of her

little johny has a bright idea
he quietly sneaks into his room
jumps into bed taking all his clothes off
starts touching himself shouting
"god i need a bike, god i need a bike..."

little johny at sunday school...

the teacher at sunday school asks the kids
"wats the first thing that goes to heaven when you die??"
little johny replies eagerly
"its the feet miss!, its the feet!!"
teacher says
"the feet?? what makes you say that"
little johny says
"well last night i heard moaning from my parents room, i took a peek, and here was mum with her feet in the air, dad was on top of her trying his hardest to push her down and mum was shouting "god i'm coming!, god im coming!!"

thanks wesslewoggle now you know what to do to get a bike!!!
im still holding out for a xbox360
at the rate im going probably fall off before it happens!!


little johny at show and tell at school

teacher: johny its your turn for show and tell
johny walks up to the board grabs the white board marker and draws a dot on the board.
he then waits exactly 5 minutes and draws another dot right next to the first one
teacher: wat is that johny??
johny: that is a period
teacher: that is very good johny, but what is the relevance of this for show and tell?
little johny looks confused, thinks for a few seconds and comes up with
johny: beats the shit out of me!! but this morning my sister said she missed her period, mum started shouting, dad had a heart attack, and the guy next door shot himself!!

^^^^ LOL

a rooster and a cat were the best of friends
they walking down the road one day when they come to a very large puddle of water
the rooster turns to the cat with a smile on his face
rooster: lets have a competition, lets see who can jump over the puddle of water and land safely on the other side
cat: ok you are on, you go first
so the rooster goes first and jumps and flapping its wings lands safely on the other side
the cat is impressed and takes his turn
but the cat lands in the middle of the puddle of water getting soaking wet
(if you clever youll know where this is going)
so here is the cat soaking wet, and the rooster is laughing his head off

so then wats the moral of the story??

where ever there is a wet pussy, there is always a satisfied cock!!!

An Aussie and a Kiwi are talking in a bar.

The Kiwi asks the Aussie "If I slept with your wife and she had my child would that make us related?"

The Aussie replies "I don't know mate, but it would make us even."

I liked it so much I bought the shirt.