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Aj_habfan on 04 February 2013

Your logic is fine, but it's missing what I think is a major factor.

For some people, they would rather live thinking the reason they don't have a girlfriend is because they either don't want one, or admit they are too scared to ask someone out. The moment you start asking girls out and getting rejected, that game is over. Then the realization hits, that you really aren't all that attractive, or rather you are too poor socially to connect with most people.

It's a lot easier to sabotage yourself and live in denial than to realize the "truth", which is really just a lack of confidence.



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c03n3nj0 on 04 February 2013
Mazty said:
JayWood2010 said:

I hear this same answer from guy after guy.  They tell me that they don't have the confidence to ask a girl out that they like or that they are afraid that she won't like you.  But here is my question, why be afraid?  You can't possibly be anymore single than you already are.  I also want to point out that if you are friend zoned that you most likely don't want to be in the situation so by not doing anything about it you are only hurting yourself.  Once again, you can't possibly be more single than you already are and we both know you aren't just looking to be her friend, so tell me your mindset behind this. 

True & I agree. But being British, the issue is finding someone worth anytime. Asking for someone that takes care of themselves physically, has confidence, ambition and hobbies I have found is akin to asking to touch the moon. 

Are you Northern or Southern? How are you finding the "female" situation in the UK?

Whoa, okay, so I'm moving to Edinburgh for college (nost probably)... I shouldn't be worried, should I? 



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c03n3nj0 on 04 February 2013
NintendoPie said:
c03n3nj0 said:


Dude! I AM in High School!

Then you're LUCKY.

Our HS has way too many back-stabers. You can't do anything without it being passed around like Wild-Fire.

My highschool's like that too. You just gotta realize that it doesn't matter whatsoever... 



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NintendoPie on 04 February 2013
c03n3nj0 said:

My highschool's like that too. You just gotta realize that it doesn't matter whatsoever... 

Yeah, sure. ;P

Then again, it's never happened to me. If it does I'm sure I could easily get over it.



amp316 on 04 February 2013

Self confidence is key. Women like you to have self confidence (without looking like an arrogant jerk).



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Mazty on 04 February 2013
c03n3nj0 said:
Mazty said:
JayWood2010 said:

I hear this same answer from guy after guy.  They tell me that they don't have the confidence to ask a girl out that they like or that they are afraid that she won't like you.  But here is my question, why be afraid?  You can't possibly be anymore single than you already are.  I also want to point out that if you are friend zoned that you most likely don't want to be in the situation so by not doing anything about it you are only hurting yourself.  Once again, you can't possibly be more single than you already are and we both know you aren't just looking to be her friend, so tell me your mindset behind this. 

True & I agree. But being British, the issue is finding someone worth anytime. Asking for someone that takes care of themselves physically, has confidence, ambition and hobbies I have found is akin to asking to touch the moon. 

Are you Northern or Southern? How are you finding the "female" situation in the UK?

Whoa, okay, so I'm moving to Edinburgh for college (nost probably)... I shouldn't be worried, should I? 

It may be better but yeah, be worried. Obesity here is through the roof as well as depression levels. Just remember the saying:
What you want from a woman - looks, intelligence, emotional stability.
Now pick two. 
That saying is very, very applicable over here from my experience.

 

amp316 said:
Self confidence is key. Women like you to have self confidence (without looking like an arrogant jerk).

In the UK confidence scares a lot of women. They think they want it but are scared when they see it. Can't win in some instances.



Mazty on 04 February 2013
green_sky said:

Friend Zone is just a horrible place to be unless you are 15 and want to wait till marriage for serious relationship or something. All of us have our vices but damn i feel bad for some of these dudes. Guess if you are going to become Barney Stinson. You have to go through hell first. 

 

 

"Now if only I can find a boyfriend just like the guy who clearly likes me I'd be set"

Please. Someone explain to me what makes a person that stupid. 



TeddostheFireKing on 05 February 2013
JayWood2010 said:
TeddostheFireKing said:
What happens when you ask your friend out and they say no? They may not be the same around you anymore, its a tough call :(


Would you prefer to be her friend or her boyfriend?  Be honest with yourself.  IF she is a true friend and rejects you then you two will go right back to being normal.  Just act like it never happened and treat her like you would any other friend.  And that is a mistake i see many guys making anyways while we are on the subject.  Many guys get put in the friend zone because they are way to nice to them and are always agreeing with them etc.  When in reality you should be treating them lik any other friend, joking around and picking on her.  That is called flirting.  This may sound weird but it is 100% true.  You basically flirt with your everyday friends.  Take me and Green sky for example right now.  Do you see how we are playfully joking with each other?  That is basically playfully flirting even though it is not my intentions, you do the same thing with a girl and they love that kind of stuff.  

Wasn't quite the response I expected. I think your 100% right, I'll definitely use this advice in the future :)



Jaywood2010 on 05 February 2013
NintendoPie said:
c03n3nj0 said:
Ugh, c'mon guys! There is literally no loss in a girl rejecting you ask her out -- dust yourself off an move on. You already didn't have her, so what's the net loss? Nothing.

There's a whole spotlight effect with being embarrassed that they'd talk behind your back, too: people don't actually give a damn. No one's going to notice you getting rejected, and if she talk to her close circle of friends about you, then so be it. It's a small circle that'll forget about it in a day.

Anyhow, an anecdote: last week I decided to ask out this really attractive redhead girl completely out of my league, and so we went to this Thai restaurant for dinner. It was a nice, we talked and it was overall relaxing. But shit didn't take off and yesterday she texts me essentially pulling the whole "let's stay friends bit." I'm 'kay with it, and I bet a bunch of her friends now know how boring I am, or something. Today, though, we talked normally without any awkwardness and had a fun time. I essentially didn't lose anything by asking this girl out.

The story is totally different in High School, though. Maybe when everyone is out of HS/Uni then they can understand each other better, but there are a lot of immature people in HS that'll keep bringing up that you got rejected. It's not good for anyone to ask someone out and then be rejected in High School. It's almost like someone posted the whole thing on FaceBook... well, they usually do.

Luckily, this hasn't happened to me. It's easier to just flirt with girls then to ask them out.


I quickly forget how much high school sucked lol  Now that facebook has blown up people are just worst with drama.  I guess it is your choice on whether you let that stuff bother you or not but get what you are saying.  Ill say this though, college is soooooo much better XD




       

Jaywood2010 on 05 February 2013
green_sky said:
JayWood2010 said:

 


-_- I think i need to talk to this guy