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Forums - General Discussion - ‘You’ve made your choice’: Man shares dad’s brutal letter disowning him for being gay

Marks said:
I wouldn't disown my kid if he was gay, but I certaintly wouldn't be proud of his lifestyle (choice).

It's not a choice.



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spurgeonryan said:

Five years ago, a man named James came out to his father as gay. The father's written response, posted on a Reddit atheism forum, has become a viral sensation.

 

 

 

Five years ago, a man named James called his father and came out to him as gay.

This week, James posted a letter he says his father sent in response that disowned his son forever to the Web forum Reddit under the heading, “This is how hate sounds.”

“I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle,” it begins. “I have fond memories of our time together, but that is all in the past.”

In the letter, James’ father goes on to cut off contact with his son. “No communications at all,” he writes. “I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house.”

He continues, “You’ve made your choice though wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle.”

If his son chooses not to attend his funeral, he says, “my friends and family will understand.”

The brief, brutal letter ends with, “Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye.”




 

I keep saying were better off without religion, and this is yet another reason why.

Religion will always be an excuse for illogical racism and murder, even if it also has good intentions.



Jay520 said:
happydolphin said:

1.) Currently the answer is we don't know, just like for the believer the answer about how God is the origin of all things material is "we don't know". However, deists believe God is the end of the chain of questions.

2.) For an atheist, is there an end to the chain of questions, or do we just not know?

3.) Also, if there is an end to the chain of questions, would it be a fully naturalistic explanation, completely self sustaining? Something like, in exceptional cases, matter and energy can be spontaneously created out of nothing, for absolutely no reason?


1.) The difference is that athiests don't believe in any entity or idea without justification. There is evidence that suggests the Big Bang has occured. That is justified. However, there is no justified explanation for why the Big Bang occured. There are an inifinite amount of possibilities for why the Big Bang started and there's no justification to put faith into any of them. Simply assuming God is the source with no justification is premature narrow-minded. It hinders plenty of other, equally justified, possibilities. If we simply blamed God for everything we couldn't understand, we would have missed out on a lot scientific breakthroughs.

2.) I don't understand your question. Are you asking "Is there an answer to the chain of questions?" Well yes, of course there are answers. But, with our current knowledge and technology, we don't have those answers. It's better to accept your ignorance than place blind faith into something and be most likely wrong.

3.) Again, I don't know. And I'm probably not intelligent enough to even comprehend the comlpexities of the creation of the universe. 

Some things are just unexplainable and should just be left unexplainable. By using God to explain the unexplainable, you really create a lapse in logic. What you're saying is "I can't explain something...therefore, I can explain it (God)".


Indeed. When will people realise that god just cant exist. It makes no sense whatsoever.

Say even if god was the one that made the big ben, what made god? God just is? Then why cant the universe just be aswell? It was born from nothing, the struggle between matter and anti-mater. God is an uncessary step, there is no point to it. Matter or anti-matter win and the rest of the laws of the universe come into place as the particles interact with each other. As much as we wish there would be a god, there really is no sense to that possibility.

But, here on earth we have a bunch of clowns discriminating, murdering in the name of something that doesnt exist. Its nothing but collective insanity when it gets to that point. The only god there is is chance. The chance that made this star called sun the size it is and this rock called earth forming just at the right distance. Just the same chance that is gonna bring the andromeda galaxy coming crashing down on the milky way or any stray comet or celestial body or gamma burst that can fry us at any time. The gods are us, born in the blink of an eye out of pure chance, with a chance to outgrow the laws of the universe to survive past the blink of luck that spawned us.



Cub said:
Scoobes said:
Well this was an enlightening and at times depressing thread. My take:

1. The Father who decided to write this letter is a coward who hid behind his beliefs instead of reflecting on his views. A letter is a horrible and cowardly way of facing up to this issue. He also has horrible handwriting...

2. I question why we should respect and accept other people's viewpoints if we logically can see they're flawed. I won't respect anyone who believes female "circumcision" is OK, or that "honor" killing is acceptable. The same goes with this.

3. Current research shows homosexuality is a mixture of nature, nurture and even some indicators showing chemicals in the water system (http://www.nature.com/news/2010/101201/full/news.2010.641.html)... at least in some birds... Anyway, not sure that any of that indicates "lifestyle choice".

 

"Sorry, the file you have requested cannot be found on any of our servers at the address specified."

could you please give us another link or at least the title of the article? I'll look it up :)

I think it's because I added )... at the end of the link. Try this now:

http://www.nature.com/news/2010/101201/full/news.2010.641.html

If not, just look up "Mercury causes homosexuality in male Ibises" on the Nature website. I was only posting it as a semi-joke post but it's an interesting find nonetheless.



Jay520 said:
happydolphin said:

1.) Currently the answer is we don't know, just like for the believer the answer about how God is the origin of all things material is "we don't know". However, deists believe God is the end of the chain of questions.

2.) For an atheist, is there an end to the chain of questions, or do we just not know?

3.) Also, if there is an end to the chain of questions, would it be a fully naturalistic explanation, completely self sustaining? Something like, in exceptional cases, matter and energy can be spontaneously created out of nothing, for absolutely no reason?


1.) The difference is that athiests don't believe in any entity or idea without justification. There is evidence that suggests the Big Bang has occured. That is justified. However, there is no justified explanation for why the Big Bang occured. There are an inifinite amount of possibilities for why the Big Bang started and there's no justification to put faith into any of them. Simply assuming God is the source with no justification is premature narrow-minded. It hinders plenty of other, equally justified, possibilities. If we simply blamed God for everything we couldn't understand, we would have missed out on a lot scientific breakthroughs.

2.) I don't understand your question. Are you asking "Is there an answer to the chain of questions?" Well yes, of course there are answers. But, with our current knowledge and technology, we don't have those answers. It's better to accept your ignorance than place blind faith into something and be most likely wrong.

3.) Again, I don't know. And I'm probably not intelligent enough to even comprehend the comlpexities of the creation of the universe. 

Some things are just unexplainable and should just be left unexplainable. By using God to explain the unexplainable, you really create a lapse in logic. What you're saying is "I can't explain something...therefore, I can explain it (God)".

This is a great post that explains the atheist POV very well.



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forevercloud3000 said:

am not sure of the research data he/she had but here is some food for thought.....

"Not every sexual act has a reproductive function ... that's true of humans and non-humans."[21] It appears to be widespread amongst social birds and mammals, particularly the sea mammals and the primates."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals

Side note, did you know that Alpha Hyena females can alter their design to the point their vagina's become penis's and they can mate with other females?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology_and_sexual_orientation#Biological_theories_of_etiology_of_sexual_orientation

 

Sexual orientation and evolution

 

Sexual practices that significantly reduce the frequency of heterosexual intercourse also significantly decrease the chances of successful reproduction, and for this reason, they would appear to be maladaptive in an evolutionary context following a simple Darwinian model of natural selection—on the assumption that homosexuality would reduce this frequency.

The so-called "gay uncle" hypothesis posits that people who themselves do not have children may nonetheless increase the prevalence of their family's genes in future generations by providing resources (food, supervision, defense, shelter, etc.) to the offspring of their closest relatives. This hypothesis is an extension of the theory of kin selection.

Thanks man , I've read all about this before .

I was specifically asking for the article Scoobes just linked, read it, it's interesting. :)



Scoobes said:
Cub said:
Scoobes said:
Well this was an enlightening and at times depressing thread. My take:

1. The Father who decided to write this letter is a coward who hid behind his beliefs instead of reflecting on his views. A letter is a horrible and cowardly way of facing up to this issue. He also has horrible handwriting...

2. I question why we should respect and accept other people's viewpoints if we logically can see they're flawed. I won't respect anyone who believes female "circumcision" is OK, or that "honor" killing is acceptable. The same goes with this.

3. Current research shows homosexuality is a mixture of nature, nurture and even some indicators showing chemicals in the water system (http://www.nature.com/news/2010/101201/full/news.2010.641.html)... at least in some birds... Anyway, not sure that any of that indicates "lifestyle choice".

 

"Sorry, the file you have requested cannot be found on any of our servers at the address specified."

could you please give us another link or at least the title of the article? I'll look it up :)

I think it's because I added )... at the end of the link. Try this now:

http://www.nature.com/news/2010/101201/full/news.2010.641.html

If not, just look up "Mercury causes homosexuality in male Ibises" on the Nature website. I was only posting it as a semi-joke post but it's an interesting find nonetheless.

Thanks a lot man!



Mr Khan said:

It is this kind of hate that must be purged from the world.

I don't really care about this topic, but I would like to respond to this. Thought-policing is never a solution. There are biological reasons for why people "hate" and one of the more important things than some overly righteous moral belief that thoughts should be "purged from the world" is freedom of thought, of expression, and belief. Anybody who restricts such freedom, which isn't harming (physically) anybody is the true threat to basic human rights. We don't live in Oceania (1984), and people are entitled to their beliefs, of course with the acknowledgment of social consequences which might occur as an effect; however, never should there be an organized force meant to cause a belief to be "purged from the world." At least not in the United States, which I believe must strickly maintain its constiution, or otherwise it's a different country and not the United States the founding fathers built for their progeny. 



curl-6 said:
Marks said:
I wouldn't disown my kid if he was gay, but I certaintly wouldn't be proud of his lifestyle (choice).

It's not a choice.


Geez way to respond to an old post. And as I've already said, that's why I put it in brackets so it's up to you to use that sentence how you see fit. 

e.g. My sister has (a) nice dog(s)...that works for singular or plural. That's what I was doing in my original post so you can leave it as lifestyle, or lifestyle choice. Get it?



NintendoPie said:
Why am I not surprised the turned into a Religious Argument?


Only because It is sort of the root of this issue. It is the only basis of the prejudice at hand that causes a father to disown his son like in the OP.



      

      

      

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