*tears* this shit was SO FUCKING FUNNY OMG!! i was like actually rolling in my chair the whole time reading this XD

i almost lost it when he said "pee bottle" LMFAO. This guy is an fucking idi.....

he should've just went to the bathroom at the public place if it was that bad. Just put some toilet paper on the toilet seat. At her house, why didn't this guy just piss in the sink?? but in the worst situation' he should've sat on the toilet letting the sh!t out while pissing on the floor. that way he could've easily only had to get the piss up off the floor with napkins instead of piss AND sh!t on the toilet' floor and in the tub SMFH

this guy deserved to be embarrassed

im actually crying reading this, its brilliant

Wth he did everything wrong o.o

This guy is an idiot... At least I would have peed on the floor if its that bad and then clean it up. Also I always go to the bathroom right before I leave for anywhere...

He should have just jammed his erect penis down and crapped over the toilet seat. You would just have to push the turd back into the toilet then and wipe the seat off.

I had sort of the same problem (except the erect penis) when I had to take a shit on an airplane.  The damn toilet seat is so small that I couldn't shit and piss at the same time.  Luckily, I just took a dump then finished my piss off after I was done. 

One of the best reads in my life.

Pee bottle? This dude has issues. If he had to go so bad when he was at the cafe, he could have just got her address, went home and met her there after he took a dump. Easy.

Damn no way this is real :D

And how do pee bottles help? He'd still be crapping when peeing in those bottles.

At the expense of sounding horribly crude (though this thread has passed all thresholds) it's just like when you have to do both on the toilet in the morning but have morning wood: just angle your dick straight down and go. It feels weird, but it minimizes mess

I remember that! Godofwar3_3ver posted it and then Max or Zex permabanned him. Good times...