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He should have just jammed his erect penis down and crapped over the toilet seat. You would just have to push the turd back into the toilet then and wipe the seat off.

I had sort of the same problem (except the erect penis) when I had to take a shit on an airplane.  The damn toilet seat is so small that I couldn't shit and piss at the same time.  Luckily, I just took a dump then finished my piss off after I was done.