Ryan joined the army because he wanted to be naked in the shower with all the ripped up army dudes. They discovered his secret when he kept running around with a boner and spamming them all with love letters.

I enjoyed it well enough last year, I like that it gives people a bit of an outlet for their idiocy for a week or so.  But this year sadly it seems to be losing the spirit of a Roast which is meant to be about mean funny little one-liners.  Sadly I didn't think about it enough this year to come up with a new one, but I liked the one I came up with last year:

"Dick Clark is like the Wii: Small, white, and we only bring him out of the closet about once a year."

couldn't come up with anything like that off the top of my head this year, but that's the kinda thing it's meant to be.

I was pulling your leg. ;)

Okay, I'll try to think up some whitty one-liners at the industry.

I was going to ignore this thread, but then you posted this. How dare you speak this about such a beautiful maiden! You dirty man-whore.

She is near waifu material. I knew you had awful taste, but this is just deplorable. It's a shame I was late, but I'm sure Carl also responded as well.

Everyone can Suxk my BANANA flavored sausage, eat wee wee, jump off of the gay san francisco golden gate bridge, kiss that shiz or I'll kick your shiz, AND I will hurt everyone who posted in this thread.

SUXK IT!!!

Homosexuals are gay

Guys, given this is a roast, I thought it would be nice if we all sat around the table and had...

A Roast.



Bon appétit!

And, and be nice ;/)

Its brilliant, because morenoingrato is just like the pig!