It's come to my attention that in my absence the last couple of months that a lot of threads have been appearing about disproving several beliefs/theories. Of course, all exciting topics, but I finally feel comfortable coming out (not sexually) with a secret I've been trying to share for over 2 decades now. And I'm going to not only share it with you, but challenge you to prove it's not true.

See, I can fly. Every midnight, I stand on my front porch and take off. Usually bare-footed because I like the  feel of the breeze between my toes. The thing is, I can only fly when no one is around, so I don't have any witnesses. It's kind like using the urinal when somebody is around. I just can't do it with eyes on me. In the past, I've contacted the Worlds best scientists to study and experiment on me but they found no evidence or proof of my capability to fly. 

Also, I come from a long lineage of fathers who've made it a tradition to make use of their flying ability by traveling the World and spreading gifts to the less fortunate. So every December I grow a white bushy beard, and put on a red jump suit. However, people are still not convinced that I'm a regular human who is able to fly. They depict me as a fictional person who can only fly because of his magic rain deer. Also, I only ate those cookies that one time because I accidentally inhaled too much marijuana smoke while making a trip to Jamaica and got the munchies. And all of a sudden I'm a cookie loving freak.

I mean sometimes some stories are so illogical, so trivial and farfetched that you really don't need documented or scientific proof to realize that it's BS, but this is not one of them. I can fly. I just wish people would stop accusing me of lying and just believe me. However past experience has taught me it's not that simple.

So VGC, prove I can't fly.

Holy crap! MORE fanclub members!

I want whatever you're smokin'.

If anything, that could be used as an argument that supports my claim ... I don't know anything about "reindeer" -can't even spell it correctly.

We start with: "And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy."

+ You are not a white guy

= you are not "fly" and therefore cannot fly.

Just because A is a lie, doesn't make B a lie. 

I don't get it. I never said I was white. And what does being stylishly cool have to do with my ability to fly?

why dont you film yourself while you do it?

I can prove that. I was there in your house last night and you didn't fly, before you use that "I can't fly when someone is around" argument, I was invisible, so you didn't even know you were being watched, hence defeats your logic of "unable to fly/urinate while being watched"

the thing is, I can't be invisible while in the present of people who already knew about my ability, so unless I'm completely along and nobody around knows about my ability (not watching either), I cannot be invisible.

so there, unless you can prove that I'm not invisible, your claim is false.

Exactly. You're not white. so you can't be fly for a white guy. I don't see what's so hard to understand here.

You can't fly!