That sucks man. My condolences.
AFAIK, none of the people I've known and cared about through life have died yet, beside my grandmas and gramps.
I remember the feeling well, I would never ever see them again.
I've been very lucky other than that.
I think it was louie c.k. who had an amazing standup about death.
It was something like,
"You're in a bar and you see a girl and you want to talk to her but, you know that, it will just end up in tears, so you don't.
Say you do, and you go out for a couple weeks and then she leaves you. Tears. No matter what happens, you met this girl at a bar and it is going to end up in tears. Even if you get married, and have kids then you'll get divorced. Tears. But say you're one of those really lucky few that are soul mates and you get married and everything, you're together for 50 years, and then she dies. Tears.
That's why I don't let my kids have pets. A dog is gunna die someday, and it's like 'Hey kids look what I brought you! A big bag of tears!'"
Anyway, that's how I feel about it. It's fucking depressing followed by the sharp sting of reality, but it's those years in between that make it all worth while. Here's to many happy memories.