You're alive!!  Good for you!  But was there that one time where you almost could've died?  Did you eat some pink chicken?  Were you held at gunpoint and forced to tell jokes or the bad guy would shoot you?  Were you attacked by a grizzly bear and lived to tell the tale?  I want to hear about the time you looked death in the eye and death blinked (giving you time to kick death in the balls)!

I have a few but I'll only give one:  Once, I promised this old guy who owned an abandoned motel that I would come back and check on it.  Earlier that night, someone was inside stealing property and I (being a cop) wanted to catch the guy.  I came back at almost 3am and realized that somebody was inside of the building!  My partner went around back (because he was a big vagina) and I went inside the front.  Long story short, the old guy was inside and shot at me!!  He missed, though.  Then, he started crying. 

And that's the story about the time I almost died.  Your turn!

I think I a almost drowned a couple of times but who hasn't. Also as a kid I was run over by a moped which are pretty common in Germany, but that wasn't live threatening but it did require stitches and I still have a pretty visible scar on my left leg.

Jesus, super cop!

A few months ago, I was at a red light at the entrance to campus. The light turned green, but I couldn't quite see around the corner and just had a strange feeling that I probably shouldn't go. Good thing I hesitated because a couple of seconds later, this huge white van plows through the intersection at well above the speed limit (especially since the speed limit is zero when you have a fucking red light!). It would've hit my car on the driver's side, and I feel pretty certain that I would have died or wished I had.

I'm almost positive that there was some sort of pedo-bear driving that van, too.  Your death would not have been in vain.

Twelve years ago I was in a accident where a diver ran a red light and hit my mom's car it didn't cause any injuries except whiplash but with the wrong circumstances it could have been a lot worse.

For some dumb reason I used to jump in, run in and near swimming pools without knowing how to swim when I was younger. Then I almost drowned.

I guess that's the reason I barely go swimming now... And I still don't know how to swim.

That was it, alright.

I've been a candidate for infant mortality until like 2 y/o. And once close to drowning in my own blood after a car crash that left me with some broken ribs and punctured lung.

Dude.  You just took things to a whole other level.

Glad you managed to stick around.  Stories like that really put things into perspective.  This thread was inspired by a guy that I work with who served over seas.  He told me about how he got shot in Iraq, how he got blown up MULTIPLE times, and how he was missing his testicles, tail bone, and how his legs have all sorts of pins in them and his wrist had to be reconstructed.  All I could come back with was "Pollen makes my nose run alot".

Stories like his and yours make average people's complaints seem trivial (which they are).  Thanks for sharing your experiences, alekth!

I suppose the only really dangerous moment i had was many years ago.I was cycling around my estate and was winning this race.As i was almost at the finish i turned around to shout to my friend(being incrediably smart) and i turned my head back again just before i went smack into a van.Thankfully i kicked out at the moment of impact and so i only smashed my tooth into my lip and briefly lost counciousness.Being smart i wasnt wearing my helmet,if i had hit the van slightly differently i might hve had brain injury(oh wait...maybe thats why i have long periods of stupidity)...after that iv always worn a helmet.