Your predictions seem realistic enough, if not a little over the top. Here's how it will ACTUALLY be:
Cammie (comes out): Nintendo is amazing. We make lots of money. Mr. Miyamoto has been trying to figure out how to... *insert fun activity here*... he's decided to make... *insert game here*
(cammie leaves) (reggie enters)
Reggie: Nintendo is amazing. We make lots of money. But hardcore gamers hate us, that is why we are revealing *insert hardcore game here* (elitist, core journalists in the crowd cheer).
Reggie: Before I forget let me also reveal *the DS line up until 3DS comes out*. Ok DS is done, let's move back to more interesting things, shall we? (reggie leaves)
(Iwata enters) (room falls silent)
Iwata: We must innovate or we will die. That is why we are revealing *insert innovative hardware and software here*
(Iwata exits) (journalists are confused)
(reggie enters)
Reggie: Oh yeah, remember last year when we said we needed to innovate, well we've been working on it and today we can now reveal *insert old innovative hardware and software that will be released this year*
Reggie: So that's it. Happy e3! Oh wait... one last thing.
(lights dim)
(spotlight on Miyamoto with Wii Remote w/ motion plus attached)
(he does a bunch of wild motion controlled actions on stage while everybody laughs at him)
(lights come back on)
Miyamoto: That's right we are making Wii Music 2!!!!!!!!!
Core: NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!