My cousin is like a brother to me.  As a kid, he was the person I most wanted to be like.  He always had a girlfriend.  He had lots of friends.  He was, in my eyes, the epitome of cool.  I'd follow him everywhere I could.  I tried to like the things he liked, and do the things he did.  In 1995, he married a beautiful lady, got a great house, had a good job, and drove a nice car.

Then, everything turned to shit.

-His dad died, while he was working on a car.  It fell on him and killed him.

-Our Grandparents both died (we were VERY close to them).

-His wife left him.  The end result was him losing his house and car.

-His mom somehow contracted Parkinson's disease.  She died a little over a year ago.

-a few months ago, he lost his job (he smokes marijuana and he failed a drug test).

-last week, his girlfriend kicked him out of her house because she needed "space"

Now, he isn't a saint.  Like I said, he lost his job because he used drugs.  He used to cheat on his wife.  Over the years, I've tried to help him.  I'd give him money to help him with car repair or bills or something.  Instead of paying me back, he bought a PS3.  When it broke (he's the only person I know who's had a PS3 break), he gave me the games because he couldn't afford to repair it.......then, one day he came to reclaim the games.  He'd gotten ANOTHER PS3.  Even then, through his recent problems, I've still been helping him.  I've given him money to get his stuff out of the pawn shop.  I've given him money for food.  He's gotten a new (shitty) job, but he's been living with my mom for a few nights a week (the commute to his new job is closer to my mom's house than his house).  About two weeks ago, my mom moved.  Now, he can't stay with her.  He can't live with his GF.

He asked me if he could stay with me for a little while.

I have a rule:  Only one person with a penis is allowed in my house for over four hours.  It's a good rule.  I've lived by it for almost a decade with no problems.  Now, he's asking me to break that which I hold most sacred.  Now I have a fairly hot girlfriend and an 8 year old daughter.  I trust my girlfriend but I'm not 100% sure about my cousin.  If something were to happen, I have too many guns in my house to justify  NOT killing him.  I'm leaning towards "no way in hell" but I have a big heart.  I can't let the man be homeless.

What are my options?

Sounds like a saint to me.

First of all, if you don't trust the guy, then don't do it, period. Secondly, it sounds like the guy is a shameless leech. Asking for help is one thing, but taking advantage of a helper is simply unacceptable. You need to let go of the dude's past image and look at the way he is now. If the guy is really emotionally shaken up by all the events that occurred, they it probably isn't wrong to help the guy out, but, once again, if you don't trust him don't let him live with you. You and your immediate family come first. I'm no psychologist, but that's my two cents.

Don't you have a shed?

No one enjoys having family around for too long. I have a big heart so I'd let him stay for a while BUT, only in the condition that he also looks for another place to sleep by. Kinda like having divorced parents, three nights here, four nights over there. It'll drive you less crazy, urge him more to find a place for himself and if you switch it up a bit (1 night here, 2 nights there, 1 night here, etc) you can make it so that you have almost all the time an eye on him.

I say in this case it depends on how you feel. Not on the intellect, but on your feelings.

If you feel uncomfortable, don't do it. If it doesn't, then let him stay.

Yeah. Trust is definitely an issue. Probably the biggest issue. In the same boat, I'm not entirely sure I could resist being charming in the presence of another woman. I fear that he and I are cut from the same cloth. I work WAY too many hours and I have a big imagination, too. Even if nothing were going on when I was working, I'd probably think there was.

It's like karma just looked at him one day and said, "Hey, fuck you!" The guy hasn't been able to catch a break. I told him I'd have to ask my girlfriend's opinion. That was my way of stalling for time. I guess I have to tell him, "no".

Maybe some of our family can put him in a motel for a little while until he can get an apartment or something.

Just tell him that if he stays at your house he has to be out of the house the same times you are. And if he is alone in the house with your GF then you will kick him out. We did basically the same routine with my brother's friend and my sister

purchase life insurance for him and put you as the sole benificiary.

Sounds like Two and a Half Men.

Let him stay with you, make a TV show out of it, give him half the royalties, and he'll be back on his feet.

Seriously, though, if he was like a brother to you, you can't leave him on the street.

sounds like a dilemma there d21lewis,

if he is your brother or so like one,then why would he sleep with wifey,

my brother could stay with me for however long he wanted,but then we are real close,

it doesn't sound like you trust him,so i wouldn't do it,wife and daughter come first everytime