Post Your Mind

[man-bear-pig]

trasharmdsister12 said:

I've had quite a bit on my mind lately and have been going through a lot of change in my life. A lot of it has been caused by tons of my time being taken up be driving lately where I can't do anything else but think. This song, in particular, is provoking me emotionally to realign myself.

So what has been on my mind? Well...

 

I've been single all my life (have never even been on a date)... and I'm 23 (almost 24!) but I like to think I'm a pretty average looking dude who's simply too grounded for people to understand in real life. I've been told that when I look at someone right in the eyes it looks like I'm looking through them and that scares people. haha! People at school used to call me things. They used to find it annoying that I complained when I got a 97 instead of 100 (I worked my ass off more than most would think for those kinds of marks) or call me a freak because I could draw, paint, act, and still be the top of the class at science, math, and computer courses (circuit design and programming) courses  and win contests - they used to laugh at me when the US Government contacted me to go to summer math camp enrichment, and they used to shy away from me when I told people I don't ever drink or eat pork or beef and that I'm not into the latest music crazes. Heck, one kid used to call me "Paki" and throw derogatory slurs at me about how "Pakis smell bad" and such. (Note: He must have been geographically inept because my family isn't from Pakistan, and I was born and raised in Canada...).

Those thoughts and feelings echo on as I don't feel I belong in the society I'm in, but I've learned one thing over the years. All my hard work and gifts are not for nothing. I feel like I'm a truly unique person and that I have very special things to offer to those who accept me for who I am. I've also learned that what's on the surface matters very little to me and that most other people, despite how they might act to fit in, feel the same way. I feel that all my gifts are for a reason and it's my duty to share them with the world.

Besides this I'm worried about my career at the moment as nothing is certain with the job I'm at. I've been working hard but it doesn't seem like it will be enough for me to keep this job if things go wrong again; even if it isn't totally my fault. This stress is exponentially increased due to my family putting down an offer on a condo this past weekend that will largely be paid for out of my salary over the next decade or so. If I lose my job it will really hurt a lot of people who are depending on me. In all of that mess I haven't had time for myself and I'm starting to burn out but can't afford to. I really want to be on VGChartz more but it just doesn't seem like things will go my way. However, if the condo offer goes through, I can move in half way through August and my travel time to and from work will go from 2+ (about 2.5) hours a day to half an hour a day.

That's all for now. I'm pretty optimistic today and I'm feeling good despite all the craziness going on. I know I have to let go of a lot of my past and I've tried and slowly made progress through the last few years and I need to remember that I've come a long way. I am capable of more and it won't happen overnight. I've got a lot left to give and I'll start today.

TL;DR? --> Stay thirsty, my friends.

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/annals/the-not-so-nice-nice-guys-of-online-dating