In wonderful news, Chip Kelly a.k.a. The Genius a.k.a. Chip Da God a.k.a. La Bleu Fromage will be blessing us all with his greatness once again, as he will be the new head coach of the Niners. Bill Walsh's ghost was interviewed afterwards and said only that he (Walsh) wishes he were alive during these times, as while Walsh would never have been remembered in the blinding light of Kelly's grandeur it would have been nice to record nineteen straight Super Bowls and a complete revolution in how the game of football is played. Historians will undoubtedly point to today's date as when a new era began not just for the NFL, or the sport of football, but for humanity as a whole.
Eddie DeBartolo had no comment.