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I beat up my step dad. Was I wrong in doing so? (Long read)

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KHlover said:

:P


Hey! At least I took the time to read what you just quoted me .

 

 

OT: For your acne problem...what is your diet like?



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You come here and open your heart, even admit you've had acne and depression but you mostly just get criticized for not being thankful to your stepdad. I think that's wrong.

Your stepdad sounds like a jerk. Either that or he has issues like being a little depressed himself, feeling insufficient and stuff. Hopefully he has issues rather than just being a jerk because then there's hope for an improved relationship between you.

He shouldn't come into your household and dominate.

People in this thread say he doesn't have any obligations to help you with stuff. Perhaps not with the driving licence, but he should adapt to the family's needs, including your needs.

If you are a young sensitive lonesome guy he should take that into account and behave in a sensible manner.

He should be aware that by him being jobless he is an exhausting factor to his surroundings by constantly being around in your house.

Continuous verbal harassment is very serious. It can make anybody go bananas and pick up the nearest axe and let it dance.

He also had the stomach to hit the family dog. You could have punished him right there and I wouldn't have condemned it.



Slimebeast said:

You come here and open your heart, even admit you've had acne and depression but you mostly just get criticized for not being thankful to your stepdad. I think that's wrong.

Your stepdad sounds like a jerk. Either that or he has issues like being a little depressed himself, feeling insufficient and stuff. Hopefully he has issues rather than just being a jerk because then there's hope for an improved relationship between you.

He shouldn't come into your household and dominate.

People in this thread say he doesn't have any obligations to help you with stuff. Perhaps not with the driving licence, but he should adapt to the family's needs, including your needs.

If you are a young sensitive lonesome guy he should take that into account and behave in a sensible manner.

He should be aware that by him being jobless he is an exhausting factor to his surroundings by constantly being around in your house.

Continuous verbal harassment is very serious. It can make anybody go bananas and pick up the nearest axe and let it dance.

He also had the stomach to hit the family dog. You could have punished him right there and I wouldn't have condemned it.

The thing is, it's not as if I've never thanked him for doing something for me. I have whenever he did. He certainly did teach me a lot when he talk me out driving and I never once wasn't thankful. I said earlier in the thread how one time I grew fed up with him and told him off. Well he came up to me and let me take the car out for a drive with him and I apologize as soon as we got in the car and I explained everything to him.

I mentioned too he cooked. Most of the time I wouldnt thank him for it because he cooks anyways and offers for me to eat (then many times I fend for myself which I have no problem with). It is not like he makes me lunch and dinner every day. I don't even think he's ever made me lunch so I don't sit and ask him for handouts but whenever he really made a good meal for dinner I would tell him. 

He had made some amazing chicken alfredo once and I complinted him and told him that was one of the best meals I've ever had and he was quite touched by it. I gave him a suggestion to him that he should make it more often. He didn't do it again (why I don't know) but I am not ungrateful. I'm just not going to be friendly with someone who harassed me. At times we got along and were even close but everything else happened like I mentioned.

I know he definitely has issues and especially after I learned after the fact something bad he went through as a kid which sucked because even though he brought it on himself I didn't know his issues were as bad. Still, I have gone through hell nearly my entire life and I don't try to take it out on anyone because that's wrong. If I get shit thrown at me I certainly throw it back (at least doing everything to keep my comments to myself not out loud) but I don't go looking to start any fights or tension,

I'm stuck at my sisters house at the moment so I figured I would give another reply. As I said, I will talk to him if and when he wants. I won't forgive him but for my families sake and because we were close at one point I am willing to try to talk it out. I won't live with him and my mother again or anything like that but I have no problems making the situation better. 



Horrorfest said:
Slimebeast said:

You come here and open your heart, even admit you've had acne and depression but you mostly just get criticized for not being thankful to your stepdad. I think that's wrong.

Your stepdad sounds like a jerk. Either that or he has issues like being a little depressed himself, feeling insufficient and stuff. Hopefully he has issues rather than just being a jerk because then there's hope for an improved relationship between you.

He shouldn't come into your household and dominate.

People in this thread say he doesn't have any obligations to help you with stuff. Perhaps not with the driving licence, but he should adapt to the family's needs, including your needs.

If you are a young sensitive lonesome guy he should take that into account and behave in a sensible manner.

He should be aware that by him being jobless he is an exhausting factor to his surroundings by constantly being around in your house.

Continuous verbal harassment is very serious. It can make anybody go bananas and pick up the nearest axe and let it dance.

He also had the stomach to hit the family dog. You could have punished him right there and I wouldn't have condemned it.

The thing is, it's not as if I've never thanked him for doing something for me. I have whenever he did. He certainly did teach me a lot when he talk me out driving and I never once wasn't thankful. I said earlier in the thread how one time I grew fed up with him and told him off. Well he came up to me and let me take the car out for a drive with him and I apologize as soon as we got in the car and I explained everything to him.

<TRIM>

 


Ever heard of a saying "6 of one and half a dozen of the other" to be honest from the story and the way you have conducted yourself in the replies on this thread your half the problem here. It's not always nice to hear it and believe me i've been there, i used to fight with my dad quite alot, to the point of hospital visits for both of us. It's only when you get to look back at these situations or you view them from an onlookers perspective is when you can really pick the points out.

I don't want to judge too much, as much as you've told us we are only getting one side of the story here and i think the story from his side would be a lot different. You say you sufferer(d) from depression, i don't disbelieve you one bit on that but you have to realise that depression is a very selfish problem as much people suffering with it feel very little self worth when they're at the lowest points, it's a very inwardly disorder and depressives have a tendency of turning everything as a personal attack and any let down could feel calculated or plotted.

I think you and your step dad are as much to blame as each other, there is no right or wrong here only two people failing to misunderstand each other. Try to think this story through from your mothers perspective, looking back my mother had to watch me beat the shit out of my dad when to be honest he hadn't really done much wrong, put me down at the wrong moment and i went skitz.

We are all human at the end of the day and we call all say things we don't mean or promise things that we intend on doing and never get round to it, his selling his truck is his perogative, quite frankly it's non of your business. If i was in his shoes and you were shouting at me for selling it i would flip and give you the beasting of a lifetime, you could have handled that much better as could he have handled certain situations better.

Violence is never the solution and looking back i hope for your sake you regret doing what you've done, sounds like your hormoans are all over the place.



I feel for you man. I had acne that destroyed my self esteem and sleep problems and struggled with depression as well throughout my teens. I've had to deal with a lot of shitty people in my life too. But I think you were wrong this time. It sounds like you have some anger issues you need to workout. Figure out a way to calm yourself when you start feeling angry. Just walk away next time.

Your step-dad does sound like a jerk though, try to get outta there quick! lol

I Wish you all the luck in the world, life really can rain down shit when it wants to.



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Too long, don't read.

Not because I'm not interested because a text that long, full of excuses, means you wen't right to beat him.

Also, you need to get out of this house. As long as he doesn't hurt or disrespect your mum, you have no legitimate reasons to beat him, ever.



Attoyou said:
I feel for you man. I had acne that destroyed my self esteem and sleep problems and struggled with depression as well throughout my teens. I've had to deal with a lot of shitty people in my life too. But I think you were wrong this time. It sounds like you have some anger issues you need to workout. Figure out a way to calm yourself when you start feeling angry. Just walk away next time.

Your step-dad does sound like a jerk though, try to get outta there quick! lol

I Wish you all the luck in the world, life really can rain down shit when it wants to.


I'm staying somewhere else and I tried walking away and he continued on harassing me.



What exactly counts as harassment in your book?



Xxain said:
What exactly counts as harassment in your book?


I'd like to know too. I'm assuming the step-dad might have insulted which is awful and shouldn't happen. However, this is NOT an excuse. The stepdad didn't force him to turn around with insults horrorfest did that willingly with the option to just leave.



I'm sorry, but after reading this over a few times, I could not find anything considered to be anything but a non-issue (except kicking an animal. I do not condone actions like that at all). My grandmother reached a stage of senility where, no matter how much you bent over backwards to do things for her, she would still spend most of her day talking to herself with rather nasty stuff about the people that help her, loud enough for everyone to hear. Yes it was heartbreaking to hear such things, but I never got to a point where I wanted to "beat her ass" over it.

Plenty of your issues, however, seemed to converge to one aspect: dependence. If your stepdad breaks a promise that relies on something you're dependant on, and complains about you not doing things DEPENDANT on maintaining a household, then I suggest that you break that dependence. Move out, get a place and do whatever it takes to keep that independence. It might involve moving far away to somewhere cheaper, or working long hours. After a year or so, come back to this issue and see if your mind has changed on the severity of the situation, because I guarantee you, independence will make a lot of issues you're experiencing now pale in significance...