Dumping...
The Resident Evil series, which began fifteen years ago, has seen over a dozen installments since its inception. During its illustrious career, it has spawned countless crappy plots and an almost uncountable number of plotholes. Those two elements coalesce to bring us some of the most incompetent villains any series has ever seen.
So today's question is: who is the least incompetent villain in the Resident Evil series? I've included several of them below, complete with a brief summary, but feel free to nominate someone else if you prefer. And so, without further ado, I give you the peanut gallery.
William Birkin, a child prodigy who excelled in science before his balls dropped. Get familiar with that theme, because we're going to be hearing it a lot. He murders his mentor and steals his mentor's life work as his own, then dicks around for over a decade while losing to a ten year old girl. When the Spencer Mansion is attacked, he responds by deploying a couple of redshirts to the scene, and then takes all night to trigger the self-destruct sequence. At some point* he develops the ultimate virus, which turns gives its user superpowers and has basically no side effects. He then never mentions that virus again, and instead spends the rest of his life trying to develop the much-less useful G-Virus. He tries to deny the G-Virus to the Umbrella Corporation, i.e. the people who funded his research, built his secret lab, and supplied him with tons of cash and guinea pigs, and are therefore probably entitled to the damned thing. Speaking of the G-Virus, it's essentially something that's designed to transform its victims into incestuous tentacle-raping blobs (seriously), and Mr. Birkin decides to inject it into himself notwithstanding that his own pre-teen daughter is somewhere nearby.
After some highly suspect retconning, Albert Wesker went from being an easily-dispatched chump of the Umbrella Corporation to some kind of supervillain, complete with superpowers. Wesker was a child-prodigy, albeit one that never actually did anything of scientific note. To compensate for his lack of scientific progress, he formed a glorified SWAT team at some podunk Midwestern town, sent it to die against zombie dogs in order to collect "combat data" (notwithstanding that no one was actually monitoring the combat...), and then got himself stabbed by a naked Andre The Giant. Only he meant to get stabbed, as this activated the Deus Ex Machina Virus he'd implanted in himself! Despite possessing said virus, which turns the user into Superman without turning the user into a shambling corpse or eyeball-laden pile of dog poop (see: every other virus in the series), Wesker spends an inordinate amount of time and effort to obtain viruses and parasites which are infinitely less useful than the one that's rampaging through his own body. He betrays everybody at one point or another, only to die to a man who punches volcanic boulders for sport.
Ozwell Spencer is one of the founders of Umbrella, and the supposed chessmaster behind the entire series. His plan was to remake the world by using a virus to turn lizards, monkeys, frogs, and other random shit into bio-weapons, notwithstanding that these creations don't takes orders, are ridiculously expensive, and die after a few gunshots. Plunking untold billions into overly elaborate secret lairs throughout the world was a must, and don't forget to scimp on the security and all the precautions anyone uses when researching viruses! Another part of his plan was to create thousands of children, whom he would only loosely oversee and certainly wouldn't support. Yes, he is essentially a British Jon Gosselin. When the U.S. government tries to bring him to justice for his crimes against humanity, he cleverly hides in his own large, not-at-all hidden European coastal estate.
Alexia Ashford, Child Prodigy #WhoCaresAnymore in the series. She is the product of her father's and her great-great-great-greastgrandmother's DNA, and the resulting inbreeding shows in her decisions. This genius is obsessed with ants, and so she makes a virus which sticks her into a coma for over a decade. Ultimately, this turns her into an insect, some of whose attacks involve bleeding all over her opponents (...). Having attained her godhood, she captures rather than kills the heroes, fails to kill Wesker despite having tentacles that can destroy a plane that's out of sight and on the opposite end of her large lair, and ultimately goes down to standard firearms and a glorified Super Scope 6.
The other half of the Wonder Twins, Alexander Ashford lacks the "genius" intellect of his sister, so his decisions no work so gud. He's basically his sister's bitch, and is so obsessed with her that he begins cross-dressing and imitating her during her prolonged absence. This isn't as difficult as you might think, since he's already more effeminate than a San Francisco male hair dresser. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has any respect for this loser, not even his direct underlings. When his island is attacked by Wekser's forces, he blames it all on the locked-up Claire, and wastes all his time failing to snipe her or her prissy, untrained partner, rather than rallying any remaining troops and doing something semi-effective. He then leads them, and Wesker, directly to Alexia's hidden lair, where he dies a pathetic death: in Darkside Chronicles, he's murdered by his own sister, who's annoyed that he couldn't even act as a proper alarm clock...
