mine r: gurl sits on my lap while watching soccer match. She then starts rubbing against me and squiggling, i was concentrating on the game so i say: quit moving, ur heavy. I wish i didnt say that, she had 1 of the best bodies ive ever seen, or felt.

Having better spelling and grammar would improve that post a lot.

All of my friends are girls (none of them interested in me), so I don't have any more awkward moments than usual.

Pfoew... where to start..

At the start perhaps, when losing my virginity. We were in a hotel on those beds slapped together only we hadn't noticed that they were on wheels. So at some point the two just parted to the walls and we fell in between!
No problem, we just continued on the floor... where she got a very bad rug-burn....
Two hours later, I was massaging here with oil when I felt a muscle "slide" and she gave of a hiss so I thought:a grat, that's a sore muscle spot. So I continued massaging that spot as best as I could... Untill I noticed a few minutes later that it was the (open) rugburn I was massaging and she didn't say anything...

Not being able to contain a fart is also pretty awkward...

Tryong to talk to a lady in the bar with absolutely nothing worthwhile to say so trying to open with a poem which basically translated to her being a hooker...

In the same vain, talking to a girl and notifing that only cheap ho 16 yo's drink the drink she's drinking...

Watching the latest harry potter and when shé crying at Dumbledore's death, only looking at her awkwardly and asking why the hell that's emotional and only getting both a blank and destructive stare back...

Trying bondage with a girl yet having no idea how to lay a knot...

Ever said another girls name during sex? Trust me, that one does not go down well. That's my worst one, but I have a friend who can top that.

I have a mate who met this girl and took her back to his place, the next morning his housemates asked him what her name was. Right in front of her he couldn't recall her name, she just stormed out in an absolute rage.

Like I'm going to tell you lot!

I do look forward to reading everyone else's though.

saying "i had better" when she's asked you how was she in bed.

When I killed one girls parents and had to kill her because she witnessed it. That was a very awkward moment.

Hmm... going to the junior prom with one? It felt really awkward for me even then, and the kiss at the end... *shivers* Yeah, I guess it was another sign of things to come, but that's now in that damned 20/20 hindsight.

If that ever happens, just tell her you were thinking of a classmate/collegue and you have a paper/project due that she is part of and it's quite stressful to you. That saved me once.

I figure that finding out about a latex allergy from a condom has got to be just about the worst possibility. Assuming both parties survive, that is; otherwise there are other issues.

I can't attest to that one, but one thing I've learned the hard way: never, EVER attempt humor with someone grieving. In fact, don't attempt any sort of consolation more elaborate than a hug. Just don't.