Pokemon? Go Poke Yourself, Satan!


Landover Baptist Christian Action Alert!

FREEHOLD IOWA- Landover Baptist Pastor, Deacon Fred used a blowtorch and a sword Sunday morning to demonstrate that Pokemon games and toys are only sugar-coated instruments of the occult and evil.

Earlier this week at Landover's Wednesday evening service, children's pastor Marty Richards told 714 kids ages 2 through 10 that Pokemon is evil and was sent to this planet under direct orders from Satan himself.

To drive home his point, Richards burned Pokemon trading cards and video games with a blowtorch and skewered 14 plastic Pokemon action figures with a 40 inch broad sword. Richards then held the sword with all 14 pierced Pokemon figures over a charcoal grill. Richards' 5-year-old son tore the limbs and head off a Pokemon doll and spit on the dismembered carcass.

During the demonstration, the children chanted: "Burn it. Burn it,'' and "Chop it up. Chop it up.'' "Kill them All!"

Manufacturers of the hugely popular Pokemon products, including Nintendo and Hasbro Inc., lied openly about Pokemon's association with the occult.

The national Christian Coalition told The Press on Friday that it fully agrees with Landover Baptist's stand against the ungodly toy industry. "Toy manufacturers are being guided by Satan's minions." One source stated, "Demons are instructing the Nintendo and Hasbro companies on how to corrupt a child's innocence and create a future army of junior Satanists that will one day rule the world!"

"We agree with Pastor Deacon Fred, and The Landover Baptist Corporation,'' said William Barnes, a spokesman for the national Christian Coalition based in Virginia. "It's a policy issue, a church issue, and a national security issue. We know all about it. We currently fund over 15 campaigns against the Pokemon menace.''

Pokemon, (pronounced POH-kaymahn), is short for pocket demons. The Devil loving phenomenon began in Japan over 20 years ago. A young boy summoned an evil demon to kill his entire family because they wouldn't buy him a stick of chewing gum at the supermarket. The demon came, and brought with it, other pokemons who jumped into the parents mouths while they were sleeping, and lodged themselves in their tracheas, suffocating an entire family, and setting the boy free to steal their money and buy gum.

"The whole idea behind Pokemon is to show a child that they can become a "powerful evil force, and they don't have to listen to their parents.'' Landover occult expert, Jonathan Edwards said. "Kids look for different Pokemon demons, find them and utilize their specific powers to create chaos in the home. It can be extremely violent, and the liberal media does not want anyone to know how many families have been torn apart since this menace began. The ultimate goal for a child is to collect them, and once they've collected all of them, they can have anything they wish for. In most cases, the child wishes for complete control over his entire family. The pokemons approach in the still of night, entering the parents mouths and lodging themselves in their tracheas until they suffocate. They then scurry off quietly and return to their masters bed. When authorities arrive, they are shocked to see no evidence of foul play. They observe only a smiling child, fast asleep, surrounded by stuffed animals and 'innocent little' Pokemons."

Deacon Fred, one of 37 co-pastors of the 125,000-member, fundamentalist-baptist church, said that his "antenna went up" over a year ago. While driving with his kids, he heard them in the back seat talking about "Abra'' and "Cadabra,'' "A chill went down my spine, and a trickle of perspiration dribbled slowly down to the small of my back!" He pulled the car over, took the Pokemon action figures from his children, placed them on the road, got back into the car and backed over them "100 times, until there was nothing left but shards of plastic." The teary eyed children watched from the roadside.

Pastor Deacon Fred said that he doesn't see why more unsaved folks don't see the Devil's hand in this. "Three of the Pokeman characters sprouts horns!" Another concern, he said, is that children exploring a Pokemon Web site can click to other games, including "Magic: the Gathering,'' a Satanic game similar to Dungeons and Dragons.

"It's got fancy sugar coating on it, but, underneath, it's Hell's poison,'' Pastor Deacon Fred said.

Focus on the Family, the Colorado Springs-based Christian organization whose messages reach as many as 5 million people weekly via radio broadcasts, has researched Pokemon, said David Wright , project coordinator the Youth Culture Department. "What we found, is so horrifying, and so schocking, it would drive an unsaved person to the brink of insanity! Godly Christians are the only ones who can see this Satanic attack, we don't expect sinners to understand our ongoing battle with principalities that are not of this world. We do however, expect them to take us very seriously, and to submit to our (God's) authority in destroying these little beasts before they make junior Satanists out of every child on the planet!"

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This is an article from a church website that details the dangers of Pokemon.  Pokemon may seem harmless at first but its just another tool of the devil.

Instead of Evolution, it could deal with the Pokemon being "god-like", and having powers rivaling god. I remember them being described as demons much more than devils. Also Pokemon evolution is more in line with metamorphosis, like that a butterfly goes through rather than actual evolution. The Pokemon series does have "real" evolution in it though. It was believed that all pokemon, with the exception of legendary's(basically gods), evolved from Mew. This is apparently because Mew has the DNA of all Pokemon, and also why Mew could learn any move. This is from somebody who associates very little with his parents' religions(Mom's protestant, Dad's Catholic), and considers himself non-religious.

^Not that annoying joke site again.

How could be evolution? I mean, it does not seem to be different from insect metamorphosis or such. Even humans change when they grow up so that's a lame and poorly-thought excuse.

Well you have to note that these people probably haven't played a pokemon game, and when they hear the word "evolution" to refer to a process in the game, they automatically assume it really is evolution.

^ Yeah, that's likely.

That's not how Christianity works at all... those are the FINATICS of Christianity. My Aunt is an example... Or was to say. They tried to sheild their kids from every damn things, and that just made them worse... She also banned all videogames because they "turn kids into violent little monsters"

My cousin was banned from pokemon when he was 6 because the show was "too violent", yet they let him hunt boars with his dad.

Also, my Aunt thought it was demonic because they were called "Pocket Monsters" in Japan. I explained to them what monsters meant in Japan... which is pretty much a synonym for creature... but they still wouldn't let him play/watch it at all.

However, my cousin was also banned from Yu-Gi-Oh! for the same reasons at age 9, because my Aunt found this Yu-Gi-Oh! card in his drawer:

Oh, and Ozzy Osbourne was deleted from his iTunes at age 10 because he is "The Antichrist" according to her.

Now, at 12, he owns XMEN Origins: Wolverine Uncaged edition, Halo 3, RB,GH3/WT, an XBOX 360, and watches rated R movies and his parents are OK with it. He's also always been more violent than I am, even though I have had videogames since age 6, and he has also gotten in trouble for saying things to girls that are innapropriate, while I have not...

Oh, and I realized about 3 years ago, that my Uncle runs their house, and I personally concluded that he used all of those "Demon" excuses as a bullshit lie to control their expenses, and she just believed him.

The bible was written so humans could understand it at the time. If you read it, it says that the earth was "formless", so maybe it's not talking about the earth at all, but the mass that was the explosion, or maybe the two seperate dimensions of heaven and earth? Keep in mind that hell was not formed until after the fall out between God and Lucifer, which is now considered another dimension by many Christians.

It seems to be a pretty common thing when consumer goods become popular for extreme fundamentalists to try to llink them with Satanism for some reason.

In the town where I live when I was younger and going to school, there were quite a few parents that wouldn't even let their kids watch tv because they thought that was a sin.

And, in the eighties, there were all those reports in tabloid magazines about possessed Cabbage Patch Dolls and later on I believe there were even reports of possessed Elmo dolls.

A common link between Cabbage Patch Dolls an Pokemon could be Garbage Pail Kids Cards. If one associated Garbage Pail Kids with Cabbage Patch Dolls and believed them to be demonic, then when a new popular card series with monsters comes along on them, then maybe someone would be reminded of Garbage Pail Kids and extend that to think Pokemon is demonic.

aahh, interpretation of symbolism to literal. When trying to teach concepts and abstract ideas often symbolism is the only effective language due to it's meaning and emotional representations of the symbols used. The problem is that down the road if the meaning symbols get altered due to lack of symbolic education then reading such scriptures tends to become difficult. Often leading to literal readings.

So then you get groups that are really heavy in literal reading of text and well there you go. Pokemon is evil.