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Forums - Gaming - Let's see some jokes about Kojima making Castlevania.

Millennium on 06 June 2009

DIE, KOJIMA! YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS SERIES!

It is not by my hand that I am once again given the director's chair. I was brought here by executives, who wish the fanboys to pay them tribute.

TRIBUTE?! YOU STEAL FRANCHISES' SOULS AND MAKE THEM YOUR SLAVES!

Perhaps the same could be said of all sequels...

YOUR PHILOSOPHICAL MONOLOGUES ARE AS EMPTY AS YOUR WALLET! HI-DEF ILL NEEDS A SAVIOR SUCH AS YOU!

What is HD?! A miserable little pile of graphics! But enough talk; have at you!



Complexity is not depth. Machismo is not maturity. Obsession is not dedication. Tedium is not challenge. Support gaming: support the Wii.

Be the ultimate ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today! Poisson Village welcomes new players.

What do I hate about modern gaming? I hate tedium replacing challenge, complexity replacing depth, and domination replacing entertainment. I hate the outsourcing of mechanics to physics textbooks, art direction to photocopiers, and story to cheap Hollywood screenwriters. I hate the confusion of obsession with dedication, style with substance, new with gimmicky, old with obsolete, new with evolutionary, and old with time-tested.
There is much to hate about modern gaming. That is why I support the Wii.

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dougsdad0629 on 07 June 2009

I'm happy Kojima-san is involved. Maybe we'll finally get a decent 3-D Castlevania game.



Keep this in mind when reading what I type...

I've been gaming longer than many of you have been alive.

PullusPardus on 07 June 2009
Millennium said:
DIE, KOJIMA! YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS SERIES!

It is not by my hand that I am once again given the director's chair. I was brought here by executives, who wish the fanboys to pay them tribute.

TRIBUTE?! YOU STEAL FRANCHISES' SOULS AND MAKE THEM YOUR SLAVES!

Perhaps the same could be said of all sequels...

YOUR PHILOSOPHICAL MONOLOGUES ARE AS EMPTY AS YOUR WALLET! HI-DEF ILL NEEDS A SAVIOR SUCH AS YOU!

What is HD?! A miserable little pile of graphics! But enough talk; have at you!

Kojima: No! its not going to end rike this! nooooooooooooooo -disapears-



Xxain on 07 June 2009
dougsdad0629 said:
In a gruff voice, "Medieval warfare has changed..."

LOL....I dont believe nobody noticed this one, its the best one yet

D_Boy on 07 June 2009

How about..main character gets to Dracula. He starts talking to him about some grand scheme of inserting nanomachines into him to stop him from getting resurrected. The speech lasts for so long, that Dracula says "I don't need this s^&*, I'm going back in the mutha-freaking coffin". THE END



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dougsdad0629 on 07 June 2009
D_Boy said:
How about..main character gets to Dracula. He starts talking to him about some grand scheme of inserting nanomachines into him to stop him from getting resurrected. The speech lasts for so long, that Dracula says "I don't need this s^&*, I'm going back in the mutha-freaking coffin". THE END

How about a huge twist where Dracula becomes the main character and has to suck the nanomachines out of the opposing army's soldiers.  But, the more nanomachines he sucks, the more they start to affect him.  Of course, the cutscene explaining this will require its own separate disc.



Keep this in mind when reading what I type...

I've been gaming longer than many of you have been alive.

D_Boy on 07 June 2009
dougsdad0629 said:
D_Boy said:
How about..main character gets to Dracula. He starts talking to him about some grand scheme of inserting nanomachines into him to stop him from getting resurrected. The speech lasts for so long, that Dracula says "I don't need this s^&*, I'm going back in the mutha-freaking coffin". THE END

How about a huge twist where Dracula becomes the main character and has to suck the nanomachines out of the opposing army's soldiers.  But, the more nanomachines he sucks, the more they start to affect him.  Of course, the cutscene explaining this will require its own separate disc.

Yeah...and it turns out, that he's a clone! He is the cloned cyborg-ninja Dracula, and the nanomachines are in the real Dracula, but he has to wear the Holy Glasses to get to the Inverted Castle to kill shaft first...(played by Samuel L. Jackson). "I have had it with these motherfucking nanomahines in the motherfucking castle"



dougsdad0629 on 07 June 2009

The Drebbin could retrofit your wooden stake with a laser sight and customizable grip.



Keep this in mind when reading what I type...

I've been gaming longer than many of you have been alive.

D_Boy on 07 June 2009

Then you can kill the Laughing Puppet, Crying Library, Raging Minotaur and Psycho Naomi...to obtain the Octa-Condom, Book of Cleavage, Giant Axe and Red Puppet. Using this, you can crawl through the microwave Escalator, to the Central AI, and use your virus (the octa-condom snapped) to send a T-1000 to kill Dracula.