Old evil that has built up since my short, self-imposed sabbatical:

1) The Packers won Super Bowl XLV, and the Universe stopped caring 5-10 days ago. (j/k; cheers to Green Bay)

2) The NA price of the 3DS and the specs of Sony's NGP were announced. ($250 and overrated, respectively; yeah, I said the NGP was overrated, got a problem with that?)

On to New Evil:

1) Can you believe the media talking about Dale Earnhardt Sr., like, ten years after he died? I mean, move on already, dammit!

2) What is this about a Playstation Tablet? In the immortal words of Fall Out Boy: "Bandwagon's full, please catch another!"

3)I just wished the birthday girl a good one. Just putting that out there.

4) Crap, I'm missing my shows! Check you later!

I'm an Alpha male.

And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm fucking her.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

While you're fucking them, I'm sitting outside your window jacking off to it.  Everybody wins!!

QFT.

THIS SITE HAS ME21!!

God I needed a good laugh. Thank you!!!

:) I only got 2 happy birthdays on my profile I want more D:

LOL...Thanks, 15 sounds so old to me idk like going from 14 --> 15 is SUCH A BIG DIFFERENCE...THEN 15 --> 16 IS LIKE OLD PERSON! XD

I hope it's just as fun as yours ;D jk lol but to tell you the truth this is worst year of my LIFE NO LIE!

Passport coming in a couple weeks, which country shall I visit first?

Also how the hell does your body produce so much mucus! it's never ending!

guys, you'll never believe what just happened no less than 15 minutes ago. so my sister and her boyfriend came home while i was watching TV and they went into the kitchen to get some drinks. while in the kitchen they were doing their whole lovey dovey thing and kissing and playing grab-ass and what not, and it was unappealing to me, so i went up to my room. a few minutes later, i heard them enter into my sister's room and then some rustling occurred. i thought nothing of it, they were probably just making out again on her bed. then i heard her scream and i got worried so i ran over to her room, and opened the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! open to door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM!