I have a very sucesful long distance relationship.

If cake is a lie and love is a lie, doesn't that mean that cake is love?

why do i care about your relationship.

I kinda agree here. Here's my list

NYC to Australia

NYC to Canada

NYC to Texas - got married, lasted 2 years, annulled

Currently NJ to Ohio - much shorter period of time, visits every few weeks - **driving distance!** (very important!)

Constant visits help make the time apart easier, especially when things like work get in between. Also, any LD relationship that lasts over a year is put in dangerous situations. Someone should move by a year out.

Also, if both people involved are close with their family, this makes moving away harder. When one person is sick of where they live, its easier to make plans happen quicker.

Lastly - be unique/weird. Be so strange, but in a way the other person likes, that they know that finding someone like you would be next to impossible. Don't be the stereotypical guy, they can find him at any bar.

Hmm thats a good point. I do know that I do love cake.

So does she.....

Love at your age is a lie. when you graduate, get a good job, and wait while being friendly towards others, you will find her.

Believe me I know all about how to make a successful long distance. I planned this one so it would work, just things got in the way. Like it was only for two semesters, not even a year, with many little visits in between. And then she would move here (as I couldnt move there). That last part is where it got messed up, and the fact that she said she started to like one of her exes almost a thousand miles away.

So I believe maturity might be another issue. Not mine, but some girls. She's very mature, and yet still here I am.

And dogsforlife quit spamming my thread, this is actually quite serious. When something happens in your life that shatters a lot of "truths" that you thought would always be there, its hard to rebuild. Maybe if you ever get a girlfriend or growup, you'll understand.

Textbook definition of love (from when I took human sexuality class) is a combination of companionship, intimacy, and passion. You take it long distance you lose the passion and most of the intimacy. Thats why long distance fails so often. Also relationships are most prone to failure around 6 months to a year from when you first have sex due to the sex chemicals effect wearing off. After those wear off, your running off of your real compatibility alone and the chemicals may have previously made people oblivious to relationship ending flaws in the other.

My point is, neither the distance or your timing of adding distance wasn't good for things. Also that soulmate and whatever stuff isn't real, but there is in fact so such thing as love. And since there is no soulmate and theres plenty of fish in the sea... you shouldn't have too much trouble finding another.

@bursche - yeah, the maturity level can play a big part, but sometimes hard to gage, as I've known older girls who are less mature than my current gf, who is several years younger. Sometimes even 30 yr old women dont know what they want.

You need to sit her down and tell her to choose her old life or a new one, but she cant have both. She either needs to bury her ex, or be stuck forever. If you let her sit on the fence, you won't have her entire attention. If she can't do that, then you're better off grabbing a couple cases of beer, having some down time with some buddies, and regrouping yourself.

No, the first 6 months you can't say you are in love at all because that's not love, you just want to fuck. Love is over the long distance, and it's mostly attachment, with intamacy sprinkled in. And also, the passion and intimacy can exist just fine over the long distance, you just have to find it in different ways, but it they do exist.

But yes,  there's no bullshit like a single soulmate. I'd be royally fucked if there was but I'm not so ha!, screw you poets.