None.

I'd rather die than start killing 5 year olds. Even if they've been brainwashed into becoming mindless killers.

I believe the hardest part would be keeping the kids from mobbing up on you. If you're in a corner, just imagine 50 kids, all pushing you into the corner... How could you fight back, really, if the first 10 kids you knock out just become a ramp for the other kids to hit your head?

The real trick here would be to have alot of running endurance - Being able to out-run the kids, knock a few out, and then run somewhere else before they catch up to you. I've had 5 year olds grab onto my legs. It is VERY hard to get them off sometimes, especially if there are 49 other kids trying to do the same thing.

So, since it would be easy for kids to bog you down and bring you to a halt, I would say I could knock out like 30.

No, this isn't about KILLING kids. Just knockin' em out!

Hmm, like a few other posters here, I lift weights as well.
I'm about 6'5" and weigh approx 260-265 pounds.
Also, I've worked as a bouncer for a few years, so I've some experience in the close vicinity of this mad scenario (allthogh with adults!).
The biggest fight I tried stopping involved over 20 people, many of whom were my friends, which stopped them from hitting me(hard...).
I'm not very quick or agile, but I'm strong and can take a lot of beating.

But the fact of the matter is; in a massive fight like this (for those stating 50-100 kids at once) you loose your awareness as it is impossible to assess what so many individuals are up too at once.
Also, at this age girls and boys are equal in strenght and speed, which limits the advantage of having girls against you.
My achilles heel is my legs, once I drop (and I do more often than not), it's hard getting up again weighing as much as I do.
If you add a flock of 5 y o's teeming with bloodlust (omg, what a sentence...) to the equation, I think I'd be out of it fairly quickly.
I'd say I could take between 10 to 20 at most.

To those who suggested using them as clubs; have you tried getting your hands around a squirming kid's legs, let alone with dozens of others trying to topple you and what not?
I think you'd find it near impossible to even bend without being overwhelmed by the mob (100 5 y o's could push a truck, they could push you like a leaf on the wind).

@tc: this is a refreshing post indeed, and makes you think (and shudder).
But I do think that most people overestimate themselves, because facing an angry mob of mini rambo's without fear or regard for their own safety, with bodies producing 3 times as much adrenaline as an adult, would be REALLY difficult.

PS: About the corner strategy some people opted for; you said no touching walls, right? Surely you cannot stand in a corner and fight without touching the wall?

@ Mummelmann: You are right that it wont be easy, but a lot of people give the kids to much credit,

1. 5 year olds are stupid... well not stupid but they really are not that smart, they have no group intelligence and would not fight as one, I´d bett many would be stomped by their own team

2. If you think a one day training is going to help them you are dead wrong, do you know how long a 5 year old can concentrate ??? Not nearly long enough for a fighting crash course. The next day they wouldn´t remember very much of value.

3. They have very little hand to eye cordination, sure they can play videogames but have you ever seen 5 year olds play soccer or basketball ??? .....they suck at it badly

4. Even it they fight till they are knocked out they have a much lower pain tollerance than a grown up who deals with pain on a regular basis (like me......I punched myself in the face at work the other day because I was lifting a big box of wattermellons and one hanle ripped of, my hand came swinging up and hit me right in the kisser, hurt like a M***erF***er but I had to laught really hard since I´m a huge slapstick fan)

5. I know out of experiance that I can walk half-way normal with a 5 year old wrapped around each leg, if they bite it I´ll just get more angry but won´t fall.

6. After the first 10-20 kids are down it will start to get harder and harder for the reamaining kids to move fast, someone big will have very little problems walking over the fallen kids while it will be hard for them.

7. Its really hard for a 5 year old to deliver a KO punch, I´ve been hit by kids of all ages (I never hit back... but I´ve thrown some into a pool) even if they pinch and bite they will have big problems to finish you off.

8. 5 year olds seem to be 100% energy, but they run out of power a lot faster than an adult, if would be foolish to make a sprint out of this when time is on your side,

Eh, just use WWE tactics and Pick up one and start power bombing kids into other kids. I'm sure their weak necks won't take that kind of punishment.

Then again, if any of you have played with a 5 year old and are in your 20's, I don't care what kind of shape you are in, they will wear you out rather fast.

I'm laughing so hard right now, you guys are crazy lol lol

I just have 2 or 3 problems.

First off, I can't beat up little girls. If a 5 year old boy was pissing me off enough, I could deliver a beatdown as necessary, but not a girl.

So if girls were in the mix, I really wouldn't be able to take any of them down, but as long as they didn't bite, they'd probably never take me down either. If they did bite, I could probably only take about 5 - 10. I'd have to pick out the guys and knock them out, then all I'd really be able to do is catch the girls and maybe tie them up with their own shoelaces. It'd depend on the ratio of girls and kids with shoelaces.

The other problem is "knocking them out, not killing" Thing is, I'm absolutely certain that I am completely capable of killing with my bare hands, 5 years old or not. My problem is I have no idea where that point is.
Am I trying to do whatever it takes to knock them out, even if it leaves them in a coma for a year or possibly even kills them? Or am I trying to knock them out but not kill them under any circumstances?

If I'm stuck having to worry about not killing them, then it makes things very difficult. I might only be able to take on 5 at most.

If I didn't have to worry about girls, or about killing them at all, so I could just go all out and do whatever I needed to do. I think I could probably take on about 25 - 40. It depends on the size of the room. My tactics would be to run in order to break the mob apart and pick off stragglers who are at the edge of the mob. I'd use kicks primarily, simply to be certain I have enough stopping power to knock them back. If I was getting surrounded, I'd pick a kid up by his ankles and spin around in a circle in order to clear some room until I could break out into the open again. If I got mobbed so that they had me surrounded up close, I'd use my fists and move in one direction, aiming for temples and trying to beat them down so I can step on them in order to work up high enough to break free again.


I've probably thought about this far more than is good for health, but it has its validity: 5 year olds are dangerous.

Let me make this easier for all the wussies who can´t take a hypothetical question (JK, I love kids) :

Just imagine they are not real 5 year old kids but robot symulates of 5 year olds from the future, they are 100% true replicas of human children so they have the same weak spots and no super robot strength since they where made to real children, but they have no soul and no real feelings (but their pain is symulated). Through some accident they turned evil and excaped the factory which is right next to your house, they are coming to get you and everyone you love..... now how many childbots can you take down to save mankind ???