Playstation 3

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

What happens when you see teh PS3's grafix.

The latest nickname of teh Ps3.

Sony really outdid themselves on this one. <Fanboy>Without that button, you wouldn't be able to quit the game at all.</Fanboy>

A picture of the Playstation 3 (naked pedophile thankfully not included)

PLEASE NOTE: BUY THIS OR SONY WILL ASSASSINATE YOU.

The Playstation 3 (also known as the Piece of Shit 3 and the Gaystation 3) is Sony's next-gen shitty game console that costs $399. It is only liked by gays, nerds, loners, and Chadwardenn (who, incidentally, is a gay, lonely nerd). It will continue in the tradition of quality for which the Playstation line of products is known (i.e. it will be among the most useless creations ever conceived by man). It is noteworthy for costing more than a small country and for including a bunch of unnecessary shit like a Blu-ray drive and a SIXAXIS controller for you to fuck around.

[edit] Hardware

The hardware of the PS3 consists of the cell processor, which runs on orphans and Jew hate, and the RSX GPU (which is actually an outdated G70 failchip). The cell processor was first invented to destroy teh world through a program called folding@home. This program was to fold and analyze proteins and send the data back to Stanford for cancer research through the help of PCs and PS3s around the world in a cluster. Little do PS3 owners know, Ken Kutaragi, IBM, and Stanford are planning to use said information to exploit human DNA to give everyone cancer. Linux can be installed on the PS3, adding to the things one can pointlessly install Linux on and destroy functionality.

[edit] Notable Fanboys

Here are fanboys who have come out like the homosexual and said "Look out world, because I'm a PS3 fanboy!" Fortunately, sanity has been restored as these people have been killed on sight on the street by gamers who actually know something about the industry.

[edit] Six Axis of Evil

With so many people gagging to see this amazing revolution in console control history, it would be poor form for Sony to actually deliver something that was any more useful than a sack of soggy dicks. Hailed as a new and exciting piece of technology that would render the old wheel and shift stick control packs obsolete, everyone acted surprised when it worked about as well as controlling a space shuttle with your cock - which everyone expected, but outrage is so much fun to have. When it was discovered that the six axis control method was a total wash, Sony still stuck by their corporate guns and decided that instead of replacing the shoddy mechanism with a rumble pack, they'd release what the public REALLY wanted - a new PSP with Darth Vader's face fucked into the back of it.

[edit] The Aftermath

After realizing what a shoddy abortion of a game console Sony was making, only the most hardcore of Sony's horde of zombie fanboys still supported it (see: Sony Defense Force). Also, game developers decided that it was smarter to take their chances at making games for Xbox 360 (which was out first) or Wii (an overclocked GameCube) than to try and make games for an unstable bucket of random parts that runs on technology that hasn't even been invented yet. Playstation 3 caught the attention of the US Government when the FBI discovered that it was the only entity in recent history to lose more support in less time than Dubya. The system has also been known to summon hoards of zombies when played near a graveyard, making Paranormal Investigators take interest in the console.

Also like Dubya, entire communities of lusers have coalesced to form cesspools of console fanboyism for everything that's not a Sony product. Both these factions are currently preparing to defend themselves against their assimilation into the virtual social network that is PlayStation Home.

[edit] Games

Typical Playstation 3 Demo

What games? The Playstation 3's technology might cure cancer someday. Who has time for games?

[edit] Lol ded

Realizing that there would be thousands of defenseless fanboys waiting outside with thousands of dollars, many robbers decided to act on this. Lulz ensued when one of the victims decided that his PS3 was worth more than his puny existence, and refused to hand over the money. The robbers killed him, with the other line members ignoring the whole ordeal. A few months later cops found what they assumed was the mugger and blew numerous holes into his head, only to find out later that they had killed the wrong guy, resulting in even more lulz.

[edit] Descriptions

Here are what PS3 fanboys usually say:

• Awesome

• Best console, evar

• HOME will be better than than Xbox Live!

• All Microsoft and Nintendo fans are complete faggots just like uz!!!!!!!1!!!

• The games are teh r0xx0rz!!1!!!!

• SO INNOVATIVE!!1!

• It's made with the same ingredients as the atom bomb so PLAY IT OR GTFO!!!11!!!1!11!!!one

Note: This is only a translation, as no PS3 fanboy has a strong enough command over the English language to form coherent sentences. Also, reading this section completely will result in a small reduction of your IQ.

[edit] Post-Release

The best selling game as of 2008

After the release, the PS3 has undersold by millions because people don't want to take out a second mortgage to pay for a gaming console with shit that they don't want or need.

A year after Sony shat it into the gaming community, it started to just barely not fail, and was then about as desirable as a real console is at launch. Sony, being Sony, decided they didn't want success and gimped the backwards compatibility, released the rumbling controller in Japan, and then told America and Europe to fuck off. It now sells for $399(,000,000,000) since noone bought it.

tl;dr shit started to not suck, then it sucked again.

[edit] Playstation Home

Somehow Sony came up with the idea that having an interactive online community would allow people to make friends and express themselves. They took two years to create this "service" and the program does not even work. The user will either get a time out message, a sign-in error, or a full server notification. Sony failed once more at creating a great concept.

[edit] Add-Ons

[edit] Playstation Eye

The Playstation Eye add-on was intended as a hi resolution optical pickup device capable of detecting the most intricate amount of detail for game such as Eye Of Judgment; instead it’s used for capturing the stunned look of losers playing Burnout Paradise in just their urine stained underwear with their bitch tits hanging over their beer guts, laying about in their grotty bedsits[1]. It is fact that 90% of Playstation Eye's have seen more than any eye should see.

[edit] Dualshock 3

After stating for months that the Sixaxis controller was designed without rumble because it contained sensitive tilt switches that would be made inoperable by the rumble feature, Sony decided to do a complete U-turn and add rumble anyway; Not because of any technological improvements, but because they decided to give in to a bunch of Intellectual Property trolls who claimed to hold the patent to this feature. This news was greatly welcomed by PS3-fetishist sick fucks who were worried they would miss out on the chance to stick a vibrating controller up their ass.

[edit] Playstation and ED

What do you know? It might actually have a good side!

Thanks to Trend's built in security in the PSN browser, ED is one of the sites that is inaccessible on the PS3. Also, the term LULZ is banned from the friends comments.

[edit] How to Really Use the PS3

PS3 by encyclopediadramatica.com

funny or what

You better made a thread about Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Wow.... I must have bought the wrong machine, because my "SONY Playstation 3 Computer Entertainment System" Seems very different compared to this thing :-S....

Uh, oh... Your threads are just terrible. Might as well watch paint to dry as its as interesting... Well, actually it is more interesting.

You dont know nothing about me,and your post is boring.

Wow, you put up an ED page here? Is that... allowed?

Also, I noticed Matsuko is gone.

well one again as someone who isn't a fanboy of sony, but a supporter of their products i have to admit that was funny. good one

I found all 3 of them funny. :)

Eh . . . what?
I know my ps3 rocks and is better than the competition.

Happy 2007!