By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use. Close

Forums - NSFW - Some guys remain single by choice because it is easier!

 

Men choose to remain single and give up on women?

They do not want to becom... 9 7.69%
 
They do not want to change! 12 10.26%
 
They do not need a woman'... 3 2.56%
 
They do not want to conform to society! 5 4.27%
 
They have busy life and d... 9 7.69%
 
They are a man-child and never grew up! 17 14.53%
 
They are regarded as a lo... 15 12.82%
 
Modern feminism double st... 19 16.24%
 
Other! 27 23.08%
 
They choose sex workers instead! 1 0.85%
 
Total:117
Cobretti2 said:
Immersiveunreality said:

If he can take a few things out of this thread to consider i would be happy and he is partly using this for venting therapy or so i do think ;)

It does not bother me and i do not think he does a lot wrong with this.

Well I just did some googling. There may be no help

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=4196439

 

That link is from long ago, it makes me sad he did not find anything to improve himself with in all that time,i would not give him up for it ofcourse and i just wish he can make the click to start being more positive in his worldview.

 

Edit: I agree with the sentiment that one of the posters from that link has,that there arent enough people being autistic. When theres enough people with the same mindset our society tends to reshape itself to suite them.

Last edited by Immersiveunreality - on 05 January 2019

Around the Network
Immersiveunreality said:
Cobretti2 said:

Well I just did some googling. There may be no help

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=4196439

 

That link is from long ago, it makes me sad he did not find anything to improve himself with in all that time,i would not give him up for it ofcourse and i just wish he can make the click to start being more positive in his worldview.

 

Edit: I agree with the sentiment that one of the posters from that link has,that there arent enough people being autistic. When theres enough people with the same mindset our society tends to reshape itself to suite them.

Yep that is what I noticed too. He clearly has known what his issues are for many years, yet he hasn't appeared to try to work on one of them at least. 

TBH, i'd love to know what his parents did. They appear to have given up on him  when he was young and not encouraged him at all as he has no self worth what so ever. 

One thing that stood out there was:
"Seriously I look like the Elephant man because of Aspergers. Aspergers is to blame for all the bad things internally and externally destroying my life. I am the ugliest person in the world and I know this due to my personal experience of being rejected on online daing sites and not getting any responses let alone a date from the sites. "

That I highly doubt, and clearly shows his suffering from some depressions not just autism.  Some of the ugliests dudes in the world have the best looking wives, so they must be doign something right, as they sure as hell ain't millionaires lol.

The other issue is, he seems to have this imaginary expectation of women, yet hates that women expect a man to have something to offer on the table. Most women will be happy with a guy who has a steady job and can make them laugh.  Great looks, being super rich aren't even major criteria for down to earth women. How high did he set that bar?

I also continued to read more pages on there and well here he says clubs are all full of idiots that want to fight you all the time, yet on there he said he never been in one. Keeps over generlising.

I googled for over 30s in Perth WA, and here are what appear to be some half decent small sides venues

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/varsity-bar-nedlands-crawley-4?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/mint-night-club-northbridge-2?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/joes-juice-joint-perth?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.hit.com.au/story/the-best-place-for-over-30s-to-meet-someone-in-perth-5625



 

 

Cobretti2 said:
Immersiveunreality said:

That link is from long ago, it makes me sad he did not find anything to improve himself with in all that time,i would not give him up for it ofcourse and i just wish he can make the click to start being more positive in his worldview.

 

Edit: I agree with the sentiment that one of the posters from that link has,that there arent enough people being autistic. When theres enough people with the same mindset our society tends to reshape itself to suite them.

Yep that is what I noticed too. He clearly has known what his issues are for many years, yet he hasn't appeared to try to work on one of them at least. 

TBH, i'd love to know what his parents did. They appear to have given up on him  when he was young and not encouraged him at all as he has no self worth what so ever. 

One thing that stood out there was:
"Seriously I look like the Elephant man because of Aspergers. Aspergers is to blame for all the bad things internally and externally destroying my life. I am the ugliest person in the world and I know this due to my personal experience of being rejected on online daing sites and not getting any responses let alone a date from the sites. "

That I highly doubt, and clearly shows his suffering from some depressions not just autism.  Some of the ugliests dudes in the world have the best looking wives, so they must be doign something right, as they sure as hell ain't millionaires lol.

The other issue is, he seems to have this imaginary expectation of women, yet hates that women expect a man to have something to offer on the table. Most women will be happy with a guy who has a steady job and can make them laugh.  Great looks, being super rich aren't even major criteria for down to earth women. How high did he set that bar?

I also continued to read more pages on there and well here he says clubs are all full of idiots that want to fight you all the time, yet on there he said he never been in one. Keeps over generlising.

I googled for over 30s in Perth WA, and here are what appear to be some half decent small sides venues

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/varsity-bar-nedlands-crawley-4?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/mint-night-club-northbridge-2?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/joes-juice-joint-perth?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.hit.com.au/story/the-best-place-for-over-30s-to-meet-someone-in-perth-5625

I personally can achieve a lot as an autist as long as nothing unexpected happens,if something goes wrong like losing a job and me being forced into new social situations then yes that triggers depression easely and it takes me a looooong time to get past it like sometimes even years.

I do try to control what i can but sometimes we sadly have no power over it and i just hope it does not happen to me too often because its always a big step back and it can be so disheartening, a state of constant panic and shock over things that are small and trivial for others.

Now i have been used to being forced into social situations as a kid so i mildly learned how to keep myself from freaking out to a certain degree,i really can not imagine how scary it must be for darklord if he never got support or have gotten in contact with others to learn about social behaviour.

 

Edit: wanted to add that i appreciate your research done on this topic,most would not have put in the same effort.

Also darklord needs to get a start with a small social group that has people like him in it so he can learn what can be achieved for his situation.

Last edited by Immersiveunreality - on 06 January 2019

Immersiveunreality said:
Cobretti2 said:

Yep that is what I noticed too. He clearly has known what his issues are for many years, yet he hasn't appeared to try to work on one of them at least. 

TBH, i'd love to know what his parents did. They appear to have given up on him  when he was young and not encouraged him at all as he has no self worth what so ever. 

One thing that stood out there was:
"Seriously I look like the Elephant man because of Aspergers. Aspergers is to blame for all the bad things internally and externally destroying my life. I am the ugliest person in the world and I know this due to my personal experience of being rejected on online daing sites and not getting any responses let alone a date from the sites. "

That I highly doubt, and clearly shows his suffering from some depressions not just autism.  Some of the ugliests dudes in the world have the best looking wives, so they must be doign something right, as they sure as hell ain't millionaires lol.

The other issue is, he seems to have this imaginary expectation of women, yet hates that women expect a man to have something to offer on the table. Most women will be happy with a guy who has a steady job and can make them laugh.  Great looks, being super rich aren't even major criteria for down to earth women. How high did he set that bar?

I also continued to read more pages on there and well here he says clubs are all full of idiots that want to fight you all the time, yet on there he said he never been in one. Keeps over generlising.

I googled for over 30s in Perth WA, and here are what appear to be some half decent small sides venues

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/varsity-bar-nedlands-crawley-4?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/mint-night-club-northbridge-2?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.yelp.com.au/biz/joes-juice-joint-perth?utm_campaign=www_business_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)

https://www.hit.com.au/story/the-best-place-for-over-30s-to-meet-someone-in-perth-5625

I personally can achieve a lot as an autist as long as nothing unexpected happens,if something goes wrong like losing a job and me being forced into new social situations then yes that triggers depression easely and it takes me a looooong time to get past it like sometimes even years.

I do try to control what i can but sometimes we sadly have no power over it and i just hope it does not happen to me too often because its always a big step back and it can be so disheartening, a state of constant panic and shock over things that are small and trivial for others.

Now i have been used to being forced into social situations as a kid so i mildly learned how to keep myself from freaking out to a certain degree,i really can not imagine how scary it must be for darklord if he never got support or have gotten in contact with others to learn about social behaviour.

 

Edit: wanted to add that i appreciate your research done on this topic,most would not have put in the same effort.

Also darklord needs to get a start with a small social group that has people like him in it so he can learn what can be achieved for his situation.

That is good to hear overall.

One tip I can give you about job loss is (assuming it can apply to your situation where you are in the world), save up your holidays that you earn. Go on holidays around public holidays to maximise the length of the holiday and save on using up all your days. I do this because if you loose work they have to pay you out your earned holidays. I try to hold a buffer of about 3 months worth. That way if I loose my job, I am not too stressed trying to find a new one as I got money.

Work overall is pretty much the same everywhere (i.e. the grass is not any greener in X over Z kind of thing). Problem with me generally with work where I have been is I am in a technical roll surrounded by not so technical people. Communication is a struggle, red tape is a pain and I get angered easily. Now most people wouldn't care and tell we why you worry so much, just ride the boat. When I want something done I want it done right lol, no matter who I upset. One thing I lack is social skill int he sense I do not play the office politics. I know what they are but I feel like vomiting from some of the shit people say just to get a head.

 

I agree he needs to find a small social group to start with Hell i hang out with 4-5 people max. any crowd bigger than that and I just go into silent mode or walk away to get fresh air lol. What i find is having something in comment helps to talk easier than with people you have nothing on common with.

Last edited by Cobretti2 - on 06 January 2019

 

 

Dark_Lord_2008 said:

There are 3 options available for the majority of guys that are not in the top 20% of Alpha male guys.

a. Reshape your behavior and appearance to become less masculine, meaning less threatening (metrosexuality). And conform to pop culture stereotypes (primarily driven by female consumers and major indicators of what women are culturally conditioned to desire).

b. Read and internalize things like Roissy, pick up artists like Neil Strauss, and learn the psychological tricks that work on women to get them into bed (game). Cultivate a "Bad boy" image. Get some tattoos (that aren't too scary or artsy. Ed Hardy wings, stars, skulls, and flames type stuff, add some female names) and get a motorcycle.

c. Disregard females, acquire wealth.

^ Of those three options, I believe c. is the best option. Disregard females and acquire wealth. There are plenty of rich guys that have acquired huge fortunes because they did not want to share their fortunes with anyone. The other two options are not guaranteed to work either and are to focused on changing your image/appearance.

I'm sorry but I don't buy this line of logic. 

Stop fearing rejection so much and you can get a girlfriend. Just because one girl turns you down doesn't mean the world has ended. Yes maybe it is a bit painful, but life is not all about being comfortable all the time. Even those PUA guys who are trying to sell tactics, the fact is they get shut down probably a good 60-70% of the time in many cases, they simply approach 10-30x more women. Most of what they're actually selling is simply the idea of getting over your fear of rejection and being a "needy" person. Anyone can do that. 

I'm pretty sure those "rich guys" have more than their share of women. 

And women aren't just into "one look" nothing stops anyone from getting into a gym for 45-50 minutes/3x a week on a proper workout routine can transform pretty much anyone's physique in 8-10 months. 

Last edited by Soundwave - on 06 January 2019

Around the Network

I am not going to any of those suggested places.
I will not lift any weights at a gym, I prefer cycling, walking and distance running!
I will continue on doing what I do with my life. I do not like going out anywhere on my own.
I do not have to face rejection, I do not not need to approach and face rejection and possibly get beaten up by random drunk/drug fuelled guys.
I do not have to put in any effort now, I look forward to growing old alone!
I enjoy staying in my comfort zone, where I have complete control over my environment.
I do not go to bars, clubs or crowded places that I do not have control over.
I see on the nightly news of another tragic case of a young guy beaten to death at bar, club or house party, that could easily be me, wrong place at the wrong time!



Dark_Lord_2008 said:
I am not going to any of those suggested places.
I will not lift any weights at a gym, I prefer cycling, walking and distance running!
I will continue on doing what I do with my life. I do not like going out anywhere on my own.
I do not have to face rejection, I do not not need to approach and face rejection and possibly get beaten up by random drunk/drug fuelled guys.
I do not have to put in any effort now, I look forward to growing old alone!
I enjoy staying in my comfort zone, where I have complete control over my environment.
I do not go to bars, clubs or crowded places that I do not have control over.
I see on the nightly news of another tragic case of a young guy beaten to death at bar, club or house party, that could easily be me, wrong place at the wrong time!

That's fine. Embrace comfort and ease. Just don't complain 5-8 years down the line when you're not happy with your life.

Being comfortable is not the be all, end all, people who accomplish things are people by and large who learn to embrace temporary pain and reap results. 

Bars are not the only place to meet women. 



Dark_Lord_2008 said:

I do not have to put in any effort now, I look forward to growing old alone!
I enjoy staying in my comfort zone, where I have complete control over my environment.

Then why do you make these threads?



Soundwave said:
Dark_Lord_2008 said:

There are 3 options available for the majority of guys that are not in the top 20% of Alpha male guys.

a. Reshape your behavior and appearance to become less masculine, meaning less threatening (metrosexuality). And conform to pop culture stereotypes (primarily driven by female consumers and major indicators of what women are culturally conditioned to desire).

b. Read and internalize things like Roissy, pick up artists like Neil Strauss, and learn the psychological tricks that work on women to get them into bed (game). Cultivate a "Bad boy" image. Get some tattoos (that aren't too scary or artsy. Ed Hardy wings, stars, skulls, and flames type stuff, add some female names) and get a motorcycle.

c. Disregard females, acquire wealth.

^ Of those three options, I believe c. is the best option. Disregard females and acquire wealth. There are plenty of rich guys that have acquired huge fortunes because they did not want to share their fortunes with anyone. The other two options are not guaranteed to work either and are to focused on changing your image/appearance.

I'm sorry but I don't buy this line of logic. 

Stop fearing rejection so much and you can get a girlfriend. Just because one girl turns you down doesn't mean the world has ended. Yes maybe it is a bit painful, but life is not all about being comfortable all the time. Even those PUA guys who are trying to sell tactics, the fact is they get shut down probably a good 60-70% of the time in many cases, they simply approach 10-30x more women. Most of what they're actually selling is simply the idea of getting over your fear of rejection and being a "needy" person. Anyone can do that. 

I'm pretty sure those "rich guys" have more than their share of women. 

And women aren't just into "one look" nothing stops anyone from getting into a gym for 45-50 minutes/3x a week on a proper workout routine can transform pretty much anyone's physique in 8-10 months. 

He weighs like 70kgs, which is nothing and acceptable to most women. As a runner he should be somewhat ok build.

Honestly all he needs to do is, comb his hair, put a little effort into the clothes he wears and no one will bash him to death as he claims lol.

The problem is he is so content on his life style that he doesn't want to change. He just wants a woman given to him, otherwise he happy to be alone.



 

 

Natural Selection.