Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

 and I'm his cousin

OT:

• When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
   
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
   
• Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
   
• There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
   
• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
   
• Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
   
• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
   
• When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
   
• Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
   
• Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
   
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
   
• In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
   

Chuck Norris is popular because the evangelical christians haven't had a messiah for a while.

Christians have only ever had one Messiah and His name is Jesus Christ.  There have been many influential Christians (followers and believers in Jesus), if that is what you mean by messiah.

OT> When the boogy man goes to bed at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 Favorites picked by the man himself!

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist

# Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

For more see: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Chuck Norris became internet-famous after the NBC Universal merger. Then Conan was allowed to show clips of Walker, Texas Ranger all the time, which built up to the super epic Chuck Norris cameo episode where they fought. Then he was internet-famous.

End of story.

Then all the facts came pouring in.

The fastest way to a man's heart is chuck norris' fist.

Cloning is forbidden because two Chuck Norrises roundhouse kicking eachother would destroy the world.

Contrary to popular belief, one person did survive one of Norris's roundhouse kicks. However, this person was still split into the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

They say Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, but he never cries.

Chuck Norris was spotted on Final Fantasy XI:  (There REALLY is a character on my server named Chucknorris with this character model. He's a Lv75 Monk with the end-game gear and he also has the waist armor, Black-Belt.)