Here's one from me:

It happened when I was in fifth grade.  We were all sitting in class doing our classwork when one of the students burped.  I don't know what inspired me to do this but I rose from my chair and quoted a poem for the class.

"Excuse you, Excuse you from the bottom of my heart,

If it came out the other way it would of been a fart."

The class erupted in uncontrolled laughter, and I got a mark on the chart for bad behavior.  I think the only reason I didn't get sent to the office was because I really was not normally a troublemaker in class.

No, the reason you didn't get sent to the office for that is because if you did that would be fucking stupid because it wasn't even bad.

Once when I was five I was in a restaurant with my family and I had to go to the bathroom. The bathroom was on the other side of the restaurant along with a bar. When I was a done went up to the bar and drank what was left of a beer. I have no idea why the hell I drank it.

And when I was in the 6th grade I got a pencil eraser stuck in my ear.

Edit: I almost forgot that when I was 15, a friend and I took a can of spray deodorant and a lighter and sprayed into the flame, causing the spray to ignite. It was cool until my pants caught on fire.

Not to me but to my brother. He was climbing on a gate(quite large and heavy) and it fell back onto him and scalpped him. From the forehead to the top of his head all you saw was bone.

kindergarten. We're in the school gym. Activities have stopped and we all sat down where we were playing. I really had to go to the washroom so I put up my hand. The teacher took forever to get to me, and when he finally did and I asked to go, he said no. Why the hell do you say no to a kid that has to pee!?

Well I had to go, so I just spread out my legs, pulled my bits out my shorts leg, and peed on the floor while I sat there. the teacher didn't notice until after we left the gym. He came and got me while I was on my way to the next class and made me clean it up. But I didn't get in trouble, perhaps because he realized that you don't tell a kid that he can't go to the bathroom.

 I would of said no to cleaning it up. You were only young though.

I cheated on a test I didn't need to cheat on. Seriously, by the time I took the test, I realized I already knew all of the answers to the questions but I chose to continue forward on cheating anyway. Also, one time in gym class and I noticed my shirt was inside out and decided the best way to rectify that situation was to take off my shirt in front of everyone else to put it back on correctly. I got teased forever.

I was 9 or so and practicing my golf swing in the front yard with those practice balls that have holes in them and are hollow. The 5 yo kid my mother babysat ran from the back yard to the front right as I was swinging and I hit him on the upstoke full force (9yo force). The club tore into his cheek, really deep. It took many stitched. I still have a slice in my swing. I shouldn't joke. It's a true story.

well... at age 14, losing my virginity with a girl on first date in a theater's bathroom. Yeah, not special at all. *sighs* It kinda sucked all the romance out of it.

I almost burn down a mountain of books in school... I was 6, and I had a lighter... I can´t remember the rest, but is was not bad :P