seems a lot of Nintendo fanboys here.

permabanned ~Barozi

Lego Last Guardian announcement and release date for holiday 2014

Sony: Sony announces that they are going to devote all of their studios to finish developing The Last Guardian. The only thing we hear from them for the rest of our lives is "The Last Guardian is still in development."

Microsoft: Microsoft stays firm on the goal of making the Xbox One into the next water-cooler. They succeed and Xbox One becomes so high in demand in offices for its water-cooler functionality that people who actually want it for playing games are unable to buy one due to short supply.

Nintendo: Iwata, Reggie, and Miyamoto announce they are leaving Nintendo. Iwata goes on to become a renown actor. Reggie becomes the president of Pizza hut. Miyamoto becomes a comic artist. Let without direction, the remaining Nintendo staff devote their efforts in the Quality of Life business which they reveal to be Nintendo's return to the love hotel industry. There they find great success and decide to abandon the video game industry.

EA: Taking advantage of the situation, EA decides to reveal their new console the EA $$Money$$$CashGrab where you pay for every button press.

Sega: Sega also decides to release a new console, the Dreamcast 2, with some of the best games the industry has seen. Unfortunately the go bankrupt because they spent all their money too quickly making great game after great game.

Ubisoft: Ubisoft announces Assassin's Creed V.

Ouya: Finding E3 a bore, the attendees go to the Ouya booth in the parking lot. Ouya sells many consoles and they spend the money making more commercials.

Oculus: Facebook announces that they have stopped developing the Oculus Rift as they know they lost all of their audience to Nintendo's love hotel business.

Konami: Konami decides to have a press conference. It's so bad that people refuse to buy Phantom Pain, no matter how good it is.

You're supposed to list the worst outcomes, not the best.

If this makes me sadist then so be it

Apple enters the console market. It is literally a turd in a box. Millions still buy it anyway.

Sony increases the price of the PS4 to a mere $599 due to overwhelming success. Decides to bring back the Cell processor. New games include Ridge Racer and giant enemy crabs.

Microsoft decides to do away with the Xbox entirely and just sell Kinects. Halo 5 is Surface RT exclusive.

Nintendo decides to take the pushing of antiquated hardware to a whole new level. Next console will just be the NES again. Hipster indie developers are overjoyed, however.

I'm about 95% sure you're satin.

There are better but that would go into dangerous NSFW territory.

The internet has ruined me :(

Sony announces All-Stars: Battle Royal at E3 in front of Super Smash Bros.