Sony: Sony announces that they are going to devote all of their studios to finish developing The Last Guardian. The only thing we hear from them for the rest of our lives is "The Last Guardian is still in development."
Microsoft: Microsoft stays firm on the goal of making the Xbox One into the next water-cooler. They succeed and Xbox One becomes so high in demand in offices for its water-cooler functionality that people who actually want it for playing games are unable to buy one due to short supply.
Nintendo: Iwata, Reggie, and Miyamoto announce they are leaving Nintendo. Iwata goes on to become a renown actor. Reggie becomes the president of Pizza hut. Miyamoto becomes a comic artist. Let without direction, the remaining Nintendo staff devote their efforts in the Quality of Life business which they reveal to be Nintendo's return to the love hotel industry. There they find great success and decide to abandon the video game industry.
EA: Taking advantage of the situation, EA decides to reveal their new console the EA $$Money$$$CashGrab where you pay for every button press.
Sega: Sega also decides to release a new console, the Dreamcast 2, with some of the best games the industry has seen. Unfortunately the go bankrupt because they spent all their money too quickly making great game after great game.
Ubisoft: Ubisoft announces Assassin's Creed V.
Ouya: Finding E3 a bore, the attendees go to the Ouya booth in the parking lot. Ouya sells many consoles and they spend the money making more commercials.
Oculus: Facebook announces that they have stopped developing the Oculus Rift as they know they lost all of their audience to Nintendo's love hotel business.
Konami: Konami decides to have a press conference. It's so bad that people refuse to buy Phantom Pain, no matter how good it is.
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