Unless, of course, you want to get into the pedophilia jokes:
Q: What's the best part about having sex with a 12-year old in the shower?
A: You can slick his hair back and he looks 8
| jcarrey42008 said: Unless, of course, you want to get into the pedophilia jokes: Q: What's the best part about having sex with a 12-year old in the shower? A: You can slick his hair back and he looks 8 |
LOL, I was wondering if anyone was going to say this one.
Someone forwarded me this one this morning.
Two Buddies were drinking in a bar one night and had became extremely drunk. One guy was so drunk that he had got sick all over his shirt. He looks at his buddy and says "My wife is gonna kill me when I get home, this is a brand new shirt! His buddy looks at him and says "don’t worry, just put $20 in your front pocket and tell her that some guy got sick on you and gave you $20 for the cleaning bill.
When he arrives home and opens the front door his wife is standing there waiting on him. "just look at you, you drunk bastard! You even got sick all over yourself". The man replies "No baby, it isn’t like that. Some guy got sick on me and look here he gave me $20 for the cleaning bill. She pulls the money out of his pocket and counts it and says "Wait one minute there’s $40 here! The guy looks at her and says " Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too!
The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.
Why would you wrap a dead baby in clingfilm?
So it doesn't burst when you fuck it.
Steve walks into a pub and orders a drink and looks for a seat, the only free seat in the pub is on table that is already taken. He sits down and gets chatting to Dave and the have a few more drinks, then a couple of chasers and a few nightcaps. At about 11:00 they decide that they should go home as they feel sightly worse for wear and are both running out of money.
They stand up and walk a couple of steps when Dave goes for a burton and takes a table with him. Steve helps him up and they start off again, but again Dave goes ass over tit and lands in bloody heap on the floor. After several abortive attempts they finally manage to get out of the pub and into a taxi. They drop Dave off at home and Steve helps him in before going home himself.
In the morning Dave's wife wakes him up and asks him what happened. He tells her he can't remember, to which she replies-
'Well, you must have been pissed, because you forgot your fucking wheelchair.'
One of my favorite jokes comes from The Crow:
Jesus walks into an inn, puts three nails on the counter, and asks the innkeeper, "Can you put me up for the night?"
"'Casual games' are something the 'Game Industry' invented to explain away the Wii success instead of actually listening or looking at what Nintendo did. There is no 'casual strategy' from Nintendo. 'Accessible strategy', yes, but ‘casual gamers’ is just the 'Game Industry''s polite way of saying what they feel: 'retarded gamers'."
-Sean Malstrom
True story ... a brother I know walked into a bar in a place called Cut Knife in Canada ... it was a blizzard. He was there with a friend and the bartender said 'We don't serve your kind' and the brother shot back 'And I don't eat those mofos either!'
| madskillz said: True story ... a brother I know walked into a bar in a place called Cut Knife in Canada ... it was a blizzard. He was there with a friend and the bartender said 'We don't serve your kind' and the brother shot back 'And I don't eat those mofos either!' |
I don't get it...
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