This is turning out to be a great thread I have to say....there also seems to be quite a variety of answers and reasons as to whether they are a virgin or not, and why they believe their choice makes sense. Everybody has the choice to remain a virgin or not and their choices should be respected by everyone. We all have our reasons, whether it is their religion or because sex is considered recreational for them, but nonetheless it is their choice and nothing we can say should be enforced to change people's minds.
Saying that, I am quite shocked that many people has had sex at such a young age. Judging from all those who have mentioned when they have lost their virginity, most posters here have lost it before the age of twenty here. Do you guys know how young that is? Lol, of course that is a silly question to ask really. Okay let me rephrase the question.
For the people who mentioned religion and morality or mentioned about the safety of having sex as for reasons for not having sex before marriage, they paint an incomplete picture. Yes, I am a Muslim and religious myself and I also worry about the safety of having sex, but that doesn't mean I should judge other people about how they think about sex based on MY morals and religion. Obviously it should be left to individual choice. But for those who's answers are on the other line - the ones who said that there are condoms to protect us with safe sex, or said that sex is just the physical means of showing your love - I don't think you fully answered the question on whether it is okay or not to have sex before marriage either.
First, there are more than one way to express your love than just sex. You all are right in agreeing that sex is one of the BEST way to show your love to another person, both physically and mentally. But I believe it is sooo much special that once you have sex, once you gave that gift to someone, that's it. There is very little one can do, in their average, normal life, that can top that. You may say that they bought you a car, or made your favorite meal, or took you to Paris (for the ladies). But do you think that can compare to making love (yeah weird phrase I know) with your partner? I doubt it. That gift is right at the top, next to Romeo-Juliet type of actions. The idea of having sex is more than just reproductive or recreational (or should I say "just-passing-time") the action of giving yourself over to another person, giving your heart to someone else and become vulnerable to them. At least it should be. To say that it is okay to have sex at an age when you hardly know yourself, when you can't even be happy and content with yourself without needing another person's company, let alone taking care of that special someone, is in my eyes a bit foolish.
This leads to my second point, the safety of sex. Yes, you all gave the same reasons. You should condoms, or birth-control pills. You shouldn't have sex on this time of the month. Yes, those are the obvious reasons....to save yourself. All selfish reasons really. Have any of you guys thought about the other person's FEELINGS? I'm asking this question to both boys AND girls here. You all mention that the sex was worth it, that you were happy about it, and so on. Not once did you all mention what happened next. Some of you lost it around your twenties and married the girl, or lost it earlier and married someone else in your twenties, thirties or so on. I say congrats to you all and I hope you are all happy, I really do. But what happened to the first sex partner? Were they happy about you both having sex, then later on broke up? It is hard for me to believe the ladies would have been thrilled about just having sex, get involved, then break up...only to realize they gave it up to you and now will prolly never see you again.
This is what I mean. Yes, the sex can be great...we all know it prolly won't be good at first, but will be later on. But to give it up this soon...just to have fun...not only are you desensitizing the gift of love to the extent where it is just a "recreational activity" and not think it is special anymore, but you are hurting yourselves and more likely hurting other people when it doesn't work out. For those who waited till they are old enough to understand what it means to be in a relationship - which is to be able to be independent, self-reliant, and have the ability to be happy and content of who you are BEFORE you are with somebody else - even if it means they had sex before marriage, that is okay. Maybe not in religion terms, but that is not my job to judge anybody on that aspect. I am not trying to say "shame on you allll!!!", but I guess I am just saying it is a shame that such a great gift is being wasted. For a video game analogy, it is like when a person gives you a video game that is considered the best by everyone, it is something you would like because it is your favorite genre, and it perfect in your standards. Yet the game's cover is broken, the disc is scratched, the manual is missing, pizza stains all over the cover, and the game has already been beaten by the person at least 3 times. It just doesn't seem to be that special anymore.
(BTW, I'm realllllly sorry I typed a lot.....I just had a lot on my mind about this subject...I understand if nobody wants to read it).
